Tag Archives: Joy

Cool or Not Cool – To be or not to be?

Hello people, your blogger is back with yet another odd topic with a strong message. Some things to note before reading:

  1. This post if for young people

  2. Young is any age you want it to be

What is cool? What is not cool? A very hard question to answer, if you ask me.

It’s so unfortunate that we live in a time and age where nobody really asks this important question and so we fall for anything believing its ‘cool’.

The dictionary won’t give us a modern definition of the word cool as relates to things we do but I’ll give it a shot.

In this first 2 decades of the 21st century, we view cool as something to die for; something worth admiration; something worth reckoning with; something we want to emulate; something worth our energy investment.

Now that isn’t bad at all. It isn’t bad looking for things to emulate or be involved in; in fact it’s very good but when we pick useless things like we’ve been doing in recent years, then we begin to do stuff that are uncool in name of being ‘cool’. From the definition, it’s no wonder that celebrities rule the world in our day; they set the standards of cool and we follow them like sheep and do what they’re doing without even questioning if it’s cool or not. I find it very depressing that in this generation, we’ve lost the ability to question the intelligence of things.

Now that I’ve made my point, I would like to take us 100 years back. For those of us in Nigeria, 100 years ago is too far to have records but 80 years ago, let me tell you what cool was. Cool was being actively involved in the fight for independence. Cool was using the intellect you had acquired to play your active role in the aiding of and at the same time bringing down the Colonial Administration. For those in the Western World especially Britain and America, cool was leaving your family and even school to join the army. Cool was getting on mission ships loaded to Africa and come to educate our ancestors. Cool was inventing stuff and being the next revolutionists. If the concept of cool had been lost right from the beginning, there would be no internet, no television, no computer, no telephone, no Bill Gates and Steve Jobs with Microsoft and Apple respectively; all these things we enjoy now wouldn’t have been if the wonderful men and women of the 1980’s to 1999 didn’t know what cool was. In America, if the wonderful men and women of the 1950’s didn’t know what cool was, there would still be racial segregation in America, there would have been no Martin Luther King Jr. or Malcom X or Rosa Parks or Maya Angelou; these people although Americans are the reasons Blacks have voices today world-wide.

We live in a bad generation; technology has become so advanced that we have become complacent with the way things are. We no longer live with a war-time mind-set even though there are flames all around us, we live with a peace time mind set which is ironical. Technology has made us so satisfied we no longer think of how we can help, but we want to live in the moment till the chaos around envelopes us.

Cool is not being okay with the way things are and developing new and better things. Cool is not lying to ourselves that everything has been invented but finding new things or improving on those already invented.

Cool was MLK. Martin Luther King Jr. lived for only 39 years but by the time he died, he had a PH.D, a Nobel Prize and he played the key role in ending most of racial segregation in the America. America has had 44 Presidents of which more than half are dead but MLK not even a white talk more of a President has a public holiday every year celebrated in honour not just in America where it is celebrated officially, but unofficially in every other black nation.

Cool was Nelson Mandela choosing to spend 27 years in Prison, Kwame Nkrumah of Ghana some years also, just to see their countries freedom.

Cool is Malala Yousofzai who won a Nobel Prize at just age 17. Cool is Nigerian Zuriel Oduwole who is currently travelling around the world as a public speaker. Cool is a young lady i follow on social media; Wadi Ben-Hirki who has a foundation and is fighting for various issues including female education. I follow a twitter page called Trends of Nigeria they advertise cool stuff from artists making various expert works from all types of materials to recently the video of a student here in Nigeria who made a drone and it actually flew and landed! Cool is Chimamanda Ngozi Adichiee and many other Nigerian writers who currently travels around speaking out on world issues.

But you and I reading this, what have we done? What have we done that is cool? Those of you reading this in your 40’s, 50’s and 60’s, what have you done that is cool? Those of you who are still young and agile, what do you plan to do that is cool instead of the nonsense of the 21st Century? What mark have you made on humanity? There are plenty problems in Nigeria alone to solve but what are we doing? Do you know the uneducated majority will be our problems in the future?

There are some things I challenge seriously and wonder where we dropped our brains. I heard of this new clothing line by Kanye West – What do they do? They make clothes with rips everywhere and yet we spend 10’s of Dollars we could use for a better cause to purchase them. Excuse me, if you wear clothes torn everywhere what different are you from the poor almajiri boys and mad people we see in the market? Or even worst, what different are we from our 20th Century ancestors who we regard as the uncivilized ones? Let me answer. The only difference between you and those almajiri boys is that while their clothes tore due to use, you bought torn clothes making you even madder!

I don’t listen to Nigerian music and it’s for a reason. Music is harmonic pleasing sound – Good music is music that teaches a message but the music in the Nigerian mainstream is something else. What’s cool about a song that has barely 6 lines of lyrics and no message with raucous videos displaying voluptuous content? No wonder the rate of immorality increase by the day! I don’t blame the artists though, it isn’t their fault. Anytime a new artist, a nobody with no connections tries to make a song with perfect sense and wonderful lyrics, they don’t sell; why? Because we don’t question our intelligence and automatically write them off. I have very few artists I respect in Nigeria people like Timi Dakolo, Waje, which kind because they know what it means to preach a message with your songs. From Dakolo’s totally sensible Love songs for his wife to Wajes new inspirational track Mountain that’s music and they’re doing something cool!

There’s gang violence everywhere in Chicago and artists like Lecrae and Derek Minor make music for this gang kids, to keep them out. That’s cool!

We watch movies every day and while some just keep with the so called ‘cool’ trends, others inspire us and leave us fuelled. That’s cool!

Black people are naturally talented people. All around the world black people are doing and have been doing revolutionary stuff but what are we doing? Why are we lying around mediocre when we were created to be meteoric?

I could ramble on and on about this topic but ill end here. I want you to think today. What could you possibly do that would leave a mark on humanity? What could you possibly do to create a change? What could you do that is cool?

Thank you for reading fam, i’ll see ya’ll next month!

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Timeline

Ladies and gentlemen introducing once again the wonderful, the extraordinary, the phenomenal, the narcissist, your favorite blogger… Wait for it… Wait for it… Deshboss!

So hello FAM, once again I’m back. It’s been a month of thinking, of reflection and of observation, and this week my topic relates to time. I titled it ‘timeline’ for fancy (well, I needed a title and I couldn’t just use time (😎😎).

If you can remember, I wrote a post some months back about freedom, to find that click here. But I recall making a point that freedom was a thing of the mind, and sometimes we put ourselves in physical cages. I specifically stated the cage of competition; my topic relates to this competition.

How does time relate to competition?

Often, we unfortunately find ourselves competing with people through life.

Some, from birth till date, we compare ourselves to others and painfully, most times this competition is one sided. I read a historic article about a Nigerian military head who was technically twins with another soldier due to how they grew together through life, one day he got a rumor the other soldier would commit a coup d’état against him, he immediately ordered his killing. Why? Competition? Now why do we compete with others? A misconception of time.

We all live in a world where over time and years, a sequence and time frame has been dictated.

What do I mean? We live in a world that already gives us a blue print for life;

At 2 – Go to nursery school.

At 10/11 – Go to secondary school.

At 17/18 – Graduate from Secondary School and go to the University/College.

At 21/22 – Graduate from University.

At 25 – Be self-made and settled; for ladies be married.

At 27-29 – Be married for men.


On and on, the world system has dictated a time-line for us.

It’s so painful that when something doesn’t happen according to this ‘time-line’ in our lives, we get depressed and worried and feel we don’t deserve to exist.

I’ve seen it over and over again and personally felt it – that my life is too slow and not following sequence but we forget one fact;

That above this ‘time-line’ lives a master of time who controls everything.

Not to get spiritual, but come on, we all know even when we deny it that there’s someone who controls everything somewhere. Even when we claim we control our lives, sometimes after setting everything in place including extra, we see our plans fail in front of our eyes with no practical explanation.

Back to my topic, the point I’m driving at is that there is no time-line. Yes, there’s that common cliché we see happening to 2 or more people but there’s no standard, life is different for everyone. If our lives followed the same sequences I’m sorry to say but the world would be boring. There would be no rich or poor, no employer or employee, since we’d all move together. This imbalances are what makes the world better. Let me step it down with my crazy illustrations.

For those of you in Nigeria, imagine you attended Secondary School with someone and graduated the same day. A month later by virtue of his/her parents financial status this person progressed to a Private University while you waited almost a year later or even more (due to Nigeria’s crazy complex systems). 4 years later that friend graduates while you still have 2 years of schooling. After graduating, your friend spends 3 years without employment while you get employed immediately you leave school. Now you’re one step ahead. The friend that got a job 1 year behind you now buys a car in 3 years and you who has been working longer doesn’t have a car. Then you get married before the friend, then the friend has a child before you…on and on.

Now the temptation is to treat life as a race and compete with this friend ignoring the fact that none of the problems were anticipated when you were still in your Secondary School Senior year. What happened?

Life Happened

Life simply showed you that there was no sequence to it. It propounded the theorem that everyone needs their own time and speed to run their own distance. Yesterday a number of my Secondary School Mates officially started their journey in the university while another number finished their first year 2 weeks ago. Does that mean those other people are permanently ahead of those who just started university yesterday? Definitely not, as life progresses and God exercises control, it won’t be like that.

Have you ever asked yourself why people older than you with almost 10 years work under you? Did they commit any sin? No! Life happened and God exercised control.

At times another factor that affects our movement is that of age. We forget so easily that

‘Age is a number, maturity is a choice’

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When people ask me what the right age for something is, I ask, are you mature enough? Marriages have broken down because a 35 year old man or woman was immature and not ready for marriage. That’s sad and it sounds impossible but some people never really mature. So what’s my remedy? As you grow make sure you mature, don’t be a child throughout. Grow! How do you grow? Like I always propound, observe and see. Look at the pit falls of others and swerve to avoid them. Treat yourself like an adult then act like one. Like they say, ‘whatever you can conceive you can achieve’ or ‘as you think of yourself, so you are’.

Another factor that affects us psychologically is having ‘mates’ at the back of our minds. A wise person once said

‘In life there are no mates. Only in school’

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The sooner you realize that life isn’t a race, and you’ll get there when you’re meant to be, the happier and more content you will be. I weep to see people jump into dysfunctional marriages because they wanted to beat time and not to ‘grow too old’ or young men engage in dubious money making schemes because ‘they’re meant to be rich by now’. All these things are fallacies created by our world. At times being patient is Gods time of preparing you for something much bigger and greater that might catapult you ahead of that so-called ‘successful mate’ of yours

I know this post sounds rough but in summary what I’m saying is;

1. Don’t spend your life competing with someone else. Our lives are different and can’t travel the same path at the same speed.

2. Don’t get depressed and beat yourself down when your ‘mates’ are ahead of you.

3. Age is a number, maturity is a choice.



Thank you for reading fam really appreciate till next time



FREEDOM

Hello guys, its been exactly a month IKR ya’ll have missed your favourite blogger. We’ll I’m back. I’ve been fine thank you, just thinking and observing and today I finally have something to share.

So guys, today my blog post is going to be a little different. It consists of thoughts I have gathered all pertaining to one large topic FREEDOM. I’m going to make three points all relating to freedom. This thinking was actually sparked off by a group study of a poem at the American Corner in Jos (BTW one of the smartest concentration of people in one place at a time I’ve met) – I know why the caged bird sings by Maya Angelou. Looking at the poem for the first time, you’ll automatically analyse it as one of those black civil rights movements era poems, but what I love about group discussions is they open your mind and make you think of other stuff. The stuff might not be directly related to the poem, but it sure sparks off thinking. That’s exactly what happened.

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So firstly, Freedom isn’t a condition it’s a personal decision. What do I mean? Its possible to be free with no restrictions and still be caged. Caged in a psychological prison. One thing that stood out in the poem is that while the caged bird sang, the free bird wasn’t singing. Now singing is an act of joy and hope; we see that very well In the Negro spirituals. The free bird is probably so free he has no joy again and instead of singing in his freedom, to ease his boredom he begins to compare with other birds. Now Competition is just one instant of how freedom is a mental decision but it is the most common in today’s world where we all want success at any cost. Last week, I remember watching President Trump of the USA speaking at the National Prayer Breakfast (BTW I’ve never really been anti-trump) and I must confess I was truly touched. Let me quote part of what he said to help me make my point.

“…We forget this–that the quality of our lives is not defined by our material success…I tell you that from somebody that has had material success and knows tremendous numbers of people with material success–the most material success. Many of those people are very, very miserable, unhappy people”

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Even though he was talking about faith, This coming out of a rich business man, a billionaire and a President of the Greatest Nation on Earth is really something. To hear him say that many rich friends of his are unhappy and miserable is enough proof that freedom is a thing of the mind. I’m not concluding but probably the reason this people are unhappy is because they are in a psychological prison. Let me give an illustration.

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You’re a business man, very rich but you aim to be the richest man in Africa. Now you’re so obsessed with being Africa’s richest that you’re perpetually sad, even when you make a great achievement, it dosen’t matter because your eyes are set on something else. You don’t have to be a business man, it can be a High School or College student who wants to be first, somebody who wants to be the most popular, etc but my point is because your eyes are fully there, you limit yourself to a cage and instead of happily singing and being happy with your financial or social or whatever freedom and security, you remain sad and bitter. In this case you’re so free you start competing with other free birds which is an unhealthy lifestyle and totally uncalled for. Also, its painful that some people in cages don’t sing. Instead they are so bitter in the cage and become so depressed that even when they get released they fly too low and remain mediocre till they die. So my first principle.

#Principle 1- Freedom is a thing of the mind

Now next, I know we’ll all rather be free birds than caged birds, agreed but if we don’t form a pseudo cage, things can get out of hand. What am I saying? Too much of everything is bad and freedom is no exception. There’s this story of Adonis a bird whose father warned him not to fly too high but in his arrogance, he did and his wings got burnt. In my metaphor-attempt, Adonis wanted to be too free and so he pushed the limits. I’ve seen many people who wished for freedom and when they got it they blew it off, they lost themselves, some their sanity, some their purity, some have become hooked to some social vices and depressingly ultimately, some lose their lives. What point am I driving at, most of us reading this are ‘free’ people but even in our freedom we have to impose some disciplines some form pseudo caging on ourselves to maintain our freedom and to keep singing. So let me state my second principle.

#Principle 2 – Freedom without discipline is a road back to bondage.

Thirdly, Now being in a cage – a cage is any form of restriction imposed on you by higher authority be it academic or what, you need to have the right mindset. There are 2 probable mindsets you can have. Firstly, you can decide within you to observe how other free birds fall and get injured and sing of how you’ll do it differently or you can just sing of freedom and extreme freedom.

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What’s the difference, when the first type get out, they fly well and enjoy their lives singing and the second type fly to all the limits till they get burnt and fall. Many of us are in some form of cage, some in Secondary boarding schools-some in Private Tertiary institutions-some still in their parents houses but what defines our freedom and helps us not to be like Adonis is our mindset in the cage and what kind of freedom we sing about. So Principle 3

#Principle 3 – The right kind of freedom is determined by our attitude in the cage.

So those are my thoughts about freedom and I hope we take it too heart. Those of you reading in some form of cage, have the right attitude, notice the pitfalls of others and avoid them and keep singing, those of you who are free, make sure you make some guidelines or you might just get caged back and those of you who are unhappy with where you are though free, stop looking too far and make up your mind to be content. If you need to know the secret to happiness, follow this link to a previous blog post and read http://wp.me/p7KVz0-4s

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Thanks fam for reading, a 1000 words plus wow. I’m getting better at this. See you when next I see you maybe another month.

 

 

OVERCOME YOUR FEARS AND ‘FAILURES’

Hey guys, your number one blogger is here. Your blogger extraordinaire is here with the first post of 2017. Everyone has been shouting 2017 is my year of success well I hope this helps you and its also part and parcel of my #HEALYOURWORLD series. P.s. I might reduce my write frequency
It is often said, the ability to conquer your fears and move on from your ‘failures’ is elemental to Success. What does this tell us? It tells us to be big boys and girls and it also teaches us an elemental truth I would soon come to. A rather humorous African quote says,

“When life gives you pepper, make pepper-soup”

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Its funny but its the truth often life sends pepper our way sends discouragements some harsh trials and harsh winds.

What defines us is how well we rise above the tide. How well we swim pass this waves and rocket above this problems. I think I’m finally ready to state the elemental truth which is my first principle for today

#Principle 1 – Life is full of ups and downs. What makes us different is how we respond positively or negatively.

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Next, I intend to get rid of something I call a victim mindset. A victim mindset is one of the saddest things that happens to people all over the world. It Is when you tell yourself and sort of decide within yourself that what happened to you happened to you because of something you did and you will never recover from it. Let me be plain truthful That’s rubbish! And its so sad we humanly always create victims of ourselves.

People, troubles come naturally, problems aren’t different from the waves that appear on water;they come with life and because a problem is vaguely or vividly related to a circumstance in your life doesn’t mean its localized to you. It comes with life and if you cant ride the wave; don’t bother taking your surf board on the ocean. In other words, for the fact you are alive and hope to live a long fruitful life, learn to deal with the drama and save yourself from Trauma. So my second principle

#Principle 2 – A victim mindset cripples us from moving on

Now, let us examine ‘failure’ and fear. Take note I use ‘failure’ always in quote because I don’t think that word is healthy. Lets see it as a temporary recess. Like the period between death and Jesus’ second coming as a temporal thing except of course we fear the wrong result.

Now lets examine how to fear wrong and right

Fear as a word can be made into an acronym and it actually possesses 2 meanings. Its either you:

F – Forget                                                                                    F- Face

E – Everything                                                                           E – Everything

A – And                                                                                        A- And

R – Run                                                                                        R- Rise

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So after every ‘failure’ and setback, we have 2 choices either to FEAR or fear. I am using and recommending you use FEAR in capital to represent the good fear and fear in lower-case to represent the bad fear. Anyways we either, forget everything; to forget all the good that has happened to us and our possible window out of the situation; to blind our eyes to everything and everyone; to shut ourselves out from the world and run run run to where? Actually no where till we eventually depress ourselves or we can decide to face; to stand eye to eye with; to find a solution; to accept our failures and admit to others and receive their counsel; to embrace the situation and accept what has happened as it is and rise slowly.

Rising again wont be easy. Lets make Rachel Platten’s fight song our soundtrack :

“This is my fight song take back my life-song

Prove I’m alright song my powers turned on

Starting right now ill be strong

Ill play my fight song and I don’t really care if no one believes in me

Cause I still got a lot of fight left in me”

Don’t ever let your fight die. A bible verse says

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear but a spirit of power, of love and a sound mind.

When an athlete has an accident and loses their legs or their motor skills or when someone has an accident or a stroke, it takes time in physiotherapy to calmly again like a baby regain the ability to eat, talk and do other primary functions till one day you can run again.

When an eagle gets injured it also has to go through flying 101 again before achieving excellence that’s how it is when we face ‘temporal recesses’ (take note I didn’t use failure this time). We have to humble ourselves and slowly but steadily rise to our peak which will drag me to my next lesson but first lemme give our third principle.

Principle #3 – We should learn to FEAR and not fear

Now my last lesson. I know those of you familiar with me are used to 3 but today I have to include a fourth is all about wisdom in ‘temporal recesses’. Now when we make mistakes, the ideal thing to do is learn from them. To try our possible best not to make them again. To sit down evaluate and examine what led to our recess and try to avoid it re-occurring.

This is a personal exercise I do and want to advice to everyone reading or watching this. Whenever you make a mistake and have those moments of regret (if you must have them), sit down get a piece of paper and evaluate how it happened in the first place then think deep and write a resolution not to do it again. It has helped before and will really help.

A quote once said, “they say we learn from our mistakes, ill soon be a professional” and there was a picture of a little birdie. Well true but another picture said something else. “The wisest people are those who learn from the mistakes of others”.

So In essence I’m also advising something else. When you see someone make a mistake don’t give that skeptical look and attitude, but examine it see where the person went wrong and then don’t go that way. Its like going on a road and seeing someone hit the tree, you swerve to the other side so you wont hit the tree but when you hit the tree after seeing the person in front hit it, even a baby will call you foolish. Its not different from when you see someone try something and fail (hit a wall) and still do it.

So learn from others mistakes and learn from your mistakes. Take note don’t be deceived that if you learn from others mistakes you wont make yours. Yes you will make yours and someone else will have an opportunity to learn from them and how you rose again. So finally I reach my final fourth principle

#Principle 4 – Mistakes are lessons. We learn from those we make and those others make.

SO People, I think this 4 principles are a recipe to dealing with fear and ‘temporary recesses’ (‘failures’). I hope you find this helpful and travel well to your destiny. STAND UP YOU ARE A CHAMPION. Peace out and to my American readers a good farewell to POTUS and welcome to Trump. Remember Obamas words

“Believe in your capacity to create change”

So this blog post has a video find it below download and enjoy 

Letting it go – My thoughts on this

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Hey guys, your favorite writer is back (Even if I’m not yet, I’ll soon be). So I’m back and today I’m going to write about letting it go.

Letting it go…I actually touched on this topic in my former post but a chain of events have made me talk about it as a separate topic. It really hurts me and I repeat really pains me to see people living in sorrow and despair solely because they’ve failed to grasp the concept of letting it go. The world we live in this 21st century world is very vile and believe me is full of evil. As technology and modernization increase, so does the crime and wickedness in our world. The other day in a rather light argument with my mom I joked and told her that if there was no wickedness in the world and everyone lived good, the world would be a boring place. Take it or leave it, really imagine nobody over sped, nobody was violent, everyone was punctual, nobody cheated, nobody stole, everybody was orderly, the world will be so boring in fact there would be no use for media again and technology wouldn’t have been needed but friends this is our world…The drama is all part of it…the wickedness is all part and parcel of the side effects of the fall of man. So firstly I want everyone reading this post to grasp this principle.

#Principle 1…Wickedness, anger, pain, disappointment and despair are all part of life.

Okay so some of you might like to argue my principle but read my former post Story Writer https://spokenvoiceless.wordpress.com/2016/09/16/story-writer/. All this things happen for a reason. Next I would like to talk on how we punish ourselves. We’re so used to punishing ourselves we don’t even notice. How do we punish ourselves? By living in despair and anger. Its a common disease to all men I myself is a victim of. Its very related to a victim mindset. So you get robed by your colleague in 2010…its 2016 and you don’t trust anyone and in fact if any one mentions the name of that friend to you, you get sick due to anger. Or…there’s this girl you’ve dated for 8 years and have been pleading to be patient and give you time to settle down…she suddenly calls and informs you of her wedding in 3 months…6 years later you’re still single and  drinking every night..you’ve made it but you cant bring yourself to date another girl and every time you see her jeep buzz by with her 3 children you get extra drunk…or you write an exam invest all your energy and your paper falls into the wrong marker, you fail and because of that you loose vibe for education. People! This is not good at all. This is self inflicted punishment which brings me to Principle 2

#Principle 2…We’re so used to living in the sorrow and anger of yesterday that we forget to enjoy today.

Lastly, I’m going to more extensively repeat a principle I’ve already given in my post Hapiness and Joy My Personal Principles https://spokenvoiceless.wordpress.com/2016/10/20/hapinness-and-joy-my-personal-principles/. Now that we know that evil is here to stay in this world till Jesus comes for us and we also know the punishment we inflict on ourselves, lets think tactically, what is the solution? Well I believe the solution lies in letting it go. One animation I celebrate with my whole spirit, my second best is Frozen. The idea is vague but Elsa had to let it go…she had to let go of what she was holding inside her…where ill vary from her principle is I wont advocate letting it go in terms of violence or excessive self expression but ill advocate letting it go in making a personal commitment to forgetting things as they come and go. I preach to everyone who knows me the life of “Ya wuche Ya wuche” (by gone by gone…it has passed it has passed) Hausa because where English fails to express my view Hausa language does justice. When you learn to live the life of ‘forgetting as they happen’, life will be so much easier and you’ll be much more joyful and jovial. You get kicked today forget, you get slapped tomorrow forget, learn to live like this and you’ll spare yourself a lot of stress. To end this principle I’ll take a quote from Nigerian Hip Hop Artist Ice Prince Zamani….

“My brother learn to forgive and sabi to forget”.

Simple principle whatever happens say Live goes on…I know and you’ll agree that some people are naturally annoying. Infact most times people annoy us and dont even know they did anything wrong so while we’re angry, they’re simply living the life this too isn’t good. So principle 3

#Principle 3…The secret of life is letting it go

So finally guys, is there anyone you’re still angry with? is there any thing still burning you within? Let it go and your life will be much easier. Read this post and recommend to anyone you think needs it. One love. Feel free to contact me. Conclusion, watch this video by Group 1 Crew, the name of the song is BURN