Tag Archives: Healthy Living

Timeline

Ladies and gentlemen introducing once again the wonderful, the extraordinary, the phenomenal, the narcissist, your favorite blogger… Wait for it… Wait for it… Deshboss!

So hello FAM, once again I’m back. It’s been a month of thinking, of reflection and of observation, and this week my topic relates to time. I titled it ‘timeline’ for fancy (well, I needed a title and I couldn’t just use time (😎😎).

If you can remember, I wrote a post some months back about freedom, to find that click here. But I recall making a point that freedom was a thing of the mind, and sometimes we put ourselves in physical cages. I specifically stated the cage of competition; my topic relates to this competition.

How does time relate to competition?

Often, we unfortunately find ourselves competing with people through life.

Some, from birth till date, we compare ourselves to others and painfully, most times this competition is one sided. I read a historic article about a Nigerian military head who was technically twins with another soldier due to how they grew together through life, one day he got a rumor the other soldier would commit a coup d’état against him, he immediately ordered his killing. Why? Competition? Now why do we compete with others? A misconception of time.

We all live in a world where over time and years, a sequence and time frame has been dictated.

What do I mean? We live in a world that already gives us a blue print for life;

At 2 – Go to nursery school.

At 10/11 – Go to secondary school.

At 17/18 – Graduate from Secondary School and go to the University/College.

At 21/22 – Graduate from University.

At 25 – Be self-made and settled; for ladies be married.

At 27-29 – Be married for men.


On and on, the world system has dictated a time-line for us.

It’s so painful that when something doesn’t happen according to this ‘time-line’ in our lives, we get depressed and worried and feel we don’t deserve to exist.

I’ve seen it over and over again and personally felt it – that my life is too slow and not following sequence but we forget one fact;

That above this ‘time-line’ lives a master of time who controls everything.

Not to get spiritual, but come on, we all know even when we deny it that there’s someone who controls everything somewhere. Even when we claim we control our lives, sometimes after setting everything in place including extra, we see our plans fail in front of our eyes with no practical explanation.

Back to my topic, the point I’m driving at is that there is no time-line. Yes, there’s that common cliché we see happening to 2 or more people but there’s no standard, life is different for everyone. If our lives followed the same sequences I’m sorry to say but the world would be boring. There would be no rich or poor, no employer or employee, since we’d all move together. This imbalances are what makes the world better. Let me step it down with my crazy illustrations.

For those of you in Nigeria, imagine you attended Secondary School with someone and graduated the same day. A month later by virtue of his/her parents financial status this person progressed to a Private University while you waited almost a year later or even more (due to Nigeria’s crazy complex systems). 4 years later that friend graduates while you still have 2 years of schooling. After graduating, your friend spends 3 years without employment while you get employed immediately you leave school. Now you’re one step ahead. The friend that got a job 1 year behind you now buys a car in 3 years and you who has been working longer doesn’t have a car. Then you get married before the friend, then the friend has a child before you…on and on.

Now the temptation is to treat life as a race and compete with this friend ignoring the fact that none of the problems were anticipated when you were still in your Secondary School Senior year. What happened?

Life Happened

Life simply showed you that there was no sequence to it. It propounded the theorem that everyone needs their own time and speed to run their own distance. Yesterday a number of my Secondary School Mates officially started their journey in the university while another number finished their first year 2 weeks ago. Does that mean those other people are permanently ahead of those who just started university yesterday? Definitely not, as life progresses and God exercises control, it won’t be like that.

Have you ever asked yourself why people older than you with almost 10 years work under you? Did they commit any sin? No! Life happened and God exercised control.

At times another factor that affects our movement is that of age. We forget so easily that

‘Age is a number, maturity is a choice’

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When people ask me what the right age for something is, I ask, are you mature enough? Marriages have broken down because a 35 year old man or woman was immature and not ready for marriage. That’s sad and it sounds impossible but some people never really mature. So what’s my remedy? As you grow make sure you mature, don’t be a child throughout. Grow! How do you grow? Like I always propound, observe and see. Look at the pit falls of others and swerve to avoid them. Treat yourself like an adult then act like one. Like they say, ‘whatever you can conceive you can achieve’ or ‘as you think of yourself, so you are’.

Another factor that affects us psychologically is having ‘mates’ at the back of our minds. A wise person once said

‘In life there are no mates. Only in school’

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The sooner you realize that life isn’t a race, and you’ll get there when you’re meant to be, the happier and more content you will be. I weep to see people jump into dysfunctional marriages because they wanted to beat time and not to ‘grow too old’ or young men engage in dubious money making schemes because ‘they’re meant to be rich by now’. All these things are fallacies created by our world. At times being patient is Gods time of preparing you for something much bigger and greater that might catapult you ahead of that so-called ‘successful mate’ of yours

I know this post sounds rough but in summary what I’m saying is;

1. Don’t spend your life competing with someone else. Our lives are different and can’t travel the same path at the same speed.

2. Don’t get depressed and beat yourself down when your ‘mates’ are ahead of you.

3. Age is a number, maturity is a choice.



Thank you for reading fam really appreciate till next time



FREEDOM

Hello guys, its been exactly a month IKR ya’ll have missed your favourite blogger. We’ll I’m back. I’ve been fine thank you, just thinking and observing and today I finally have something to share.

So guys, today my blog post is going to be a little different. It consists of thoughts I have gathered all pertaining to one large topic FREEDOM. I’m going to make three points all relating to freedom. This thinking was actually sparked off by a group study of a poem at the American Corner in Jos (BTW one of the smartest concentration of people in one place at a time I’ve met) – I know why the caged bird sings by Maya Angelou. Looking at the poem for the first time, you’ll automatically analyse it as one of those black civil rights movements era poems, but what I love about group discussions is they open your mind and make you think of other stuff. The stuff might not be directly related to the poem, but it sure sparks off thinking. That’s exactly what happened.

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So firstly, Freedom isn’t a condition it’s a personal decision. What do I mean? Its possible to be free with no restrictions and still be caged. Caged in a psychological prison. One thing that stood out in the poem is that while the caged bird sang, the free bird wasn’t singing. Now singing is an act of joy and hope; we see that very well In the Negro spirituals. The free bird is probably so free he has no joy again and instead of singing in his freedom, to ease his boredom he begins to compare with other birds. Now Competition is just one instant of how freedom is a mental decision but it is the most common in today’s world where we all want success at any cost. Last week, I remember watching President Trump of the USA speaking at the National Prayer Breakfast (BTW I’ve never really been anti-trump) and I must confess I was truly touched. Let me quote part of what he said to help me make my point.

“…We forget this–that the quality of our lives is not defined by our material success…I tell you that from somebody that has had material success and knows tremendous numbers of people with material success–the most material success. Many of those people are very, very miserable, unhappy people”

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Even though he was talking about faith, This coming out of a rich business man, a billionaire and a President of the Greatest Nation on Earth is really something. To hear him say that many rich friends of his are unhappy and miserable is enough proof that freedom is a thing of the mind. I’m not concluding but probably the reason this people are unhappy is because they are in a psychological prison. Let me give an illustration.

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You’re a business man, very rich but you aim to be the richest man in Africa. Now you’re so obsessed with being Africa’s richest that you’re perpetually sad, even when you make a great achievement, it dosen’t matter because your eyes are set on something else. You don’t have to be a business man, it can be a High School or College student who wants to be first, somebody who wants to be the most popular, etc but my point is because your eyes are fully there, you limit yourself to a cage and instead of happily singing and being happy with your financial or social or whatever freedom and security, you remain sad and bitter. In this case you’re so free you start competing with other free birds which is an unhealthy lifestyle and totally uncalled for. Also, its painful that some people in cages don’t sing. Instead they are so bitter in the cage and become so depressed that even when they get released they fly too low and remain mediocre till they die. So my first principle.

#Principle 1- Freedom is a thing of the mind

Now next, I know we’ll all rather be free birds than caged birds, agreed but if we don’t form a pseudo cage, things can get out of hand. What am I saying? Too much of everything is bad and freedom is no exception. There’s this story of Adonis a bird whose father warned him not to fly too high but in his arrogance, he did and his wings got burnt. In my metaphor-attempt, Adonis wanted to be too free and so he pushed the limits. I’ve seen many people who wished for freedom and when they got it they blew it off, they lost themselves, some their sanity, some their purity, some have become hooked to some social vices and depressingly ultimately, some lose their lives. What point am I driving at, most of us reading this are ‘free’ people but even in our freedom we have to impose some disciplines some form pseudo caging on ourselves to maintain our freedom and to keep singing. So let me state my second principle.

#Principle 2 – Freedom without discipline is a road back to bondage.

Thirdly, Now being in a cage – a cage is any form of restriction imposed on you by higher authority be it academic or what, you need to have the right mindset. There are 2 probable mindsets you can have. Firstly, you can decide within you to observe how other free birds fall and get injured and sing of how you’ll do it differently or you can just sing of freedom and extreme freedom.

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What’s the difference, when the first type get out, they fly well and enjoy their lives singing and the second type fly to all the limits till they get burnt and fall. Many of us are in some form of cage, some in Secondary boarding schools-some in Private Tertiary institutions-some still in their parents houses but what defines our freedom and helps us not to be like Adonis is our mindset in the cage and what kind of freedom we sing about. So Principle 3

#Principle 3 – The right kind of freedom is determined by our attitude in the cage.

So those are my thoughts about freedom and I hope we take it too heart. Those of you reading in some form of cage, have the right attitude, notice the pitfalls of others and avoid them and keep singing, those of you who are free, make sure you make some guidelines or you might just get caged back and those of you who are unhappy with where you are though free, stop looking too far and make up your mind to be content. If you need to know the secret to happiness, follow this link to a previous blog post and read http://wp.me/p7KVz0-4s

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Thanks fam for reading, a 1000 words plus wow. I’m getting better at this. See you when next I see you maybe another month.

 

 

Letting it go – My thoughts on this

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Hey guys, your favorite writer is back (Even if I’m not yet, I’ll soon be). So I’m back and today I’m going to write about letting it go.

Letting it go…I actually touched on this topic in my former post but a chain of events have made me talk about it as a separate topic. It really hurts me and I repeat really pains me to see people living in sorrow and despair solely because they’ve failed to grasp the concept of letting it go. The world we live in this 21st century world is very vile and believe me is full of evil. As technology and modernization increase, so does the crime and wickedness in our world. The other day in a rather light argument with my mom I joked and told her that if there was no wickedness in the world and everyone lived good, the world would be a boring place. Take it or leave it, really imagine nobody over sped, nobody was violent, everyone was punctual, nobody cheated, nobody stole, everybody was orderly, the world will be so boring in fact there would be no use for media again and technology wouldn’t have been needed but friends this is our world…The drama is all part of it…the wickedness is all part and parcel of the side effects of the fall of man. So firstly I want everyone reading this post to grasp this principle.

#Principle 1…Wickedness, anger, pain, disappointment and despair are all part of life.

Okay so some of you might like to argue my principle but read my former post Story Writer https://spokenvoiceless.wordpress.com/2016/09/16/story-writer/. All this things happen for a reason. Next I would like to talk on how we punish ourselves. We’re so used to punishing ourselves we don’t even notice. How do we punish ourselves? By living in despair and anger. Its a common disease to all men I myself is a victim of. Its very related to a victim mindset. So you get robed by your colleague in 2010…its 2016 and you don’t trust anyone and in fact if any one mentions the name of that friend to you, you get sick due to anger. Or…there’s this girl you’ve dated for 8 years and have been pleading to be patient and give you time to settle down…she suddenly calls and informs you of her wedding in 3 months…6 years later you’re still single and  drinking every night..you’ve made it but you cant bring yourself to date another girl and every time you see her jeep buzz by with her 3 children you get extra drunk…or you write an exam invest all your energy and your paper falls into the wrong marker, you fail and because of that you loose vibe for education. People! This is not good at all. This is self inflicted punishment which brings me to Principle 2

#Principle 2…We’re so used to living in the sorrow and anger of yesterday that we forget to enjoy today.

Lastly, I’m going to more extensively repeat a principle I’ve already given in my post Hapiness and Joy My Personal Principles https://spokenvoiceless.wordpress.com/2016/10/20/hapinness-and-joy-my-personal-principles/. Now that we know that evil is here to stay in this world till Jesus comes for us and we also know the punishment we inflict on ourselves, lets think tactically, what is the solution? Well I believe the solution lies in letting it go. One animation I celebrate with my whole spirit, my second best is Frozen. The idea is vague but Elsa had to let it go…she had to let go of what she was holding inside her…where ill vary from her principle is I wont advocate letting it go in terms of violence or excessive self expression but ill advocate letting it go in making a personal commitment to forgetting things as they come and go. I preach to everyone who knows me the life of “Ya wuche Ya wuche” (by gone by gone…it has passed it has passed) Hausa because where English fails to express my view Hausa language does justice. When you learn to live the life of ‘forgetting as they happen’, life will be so much easier and you’ll be much more joyful and jovial. You get kicked today forget, you get slapped tomorrow forget, learn to live like this and you’ll spare yourself a lot of stress. To end this principle I’ll take a quote from Nigerian Hip Hop Artist Ice Prince Zamani….

“My brother learn to forgive and sabi to forget”.

Simple principle whatever happens say Live goes on…I know and you’ll agree that some people are naturally annoying. Infact most times people annoy us and dont even know they did anything wrong so while we’re angry, they’re simply living the life this too isn’t good. So principle 3

#Principle 3…The secret of life is letting it go

So finally guys, is there anyone you’re still angry with? is there any thing still burning you within? Let it go and your life will be much easier. Read this post and recommend to anyone you think needs it. One love. Feel free to contact me. Conclusion, watch this video by Group 1 Crew, the name of the song is BURN