Category Archives: Living

Cool or Not Cool – To be or not to be?

Hello people, your blogger is back with yet another odd topic with a strong message. Some things to note before reading:

  1. This post if for young people

  2. Young is any age you want it to be

What is cool? What is not cool? A very hard question to answer, if you ask me.

It’s so unfortunate that we live in a time and age where nobody really asks this important question and so we fall for anything believing its ‘cool’.

The dictionary won’t give us a modern definition of the word cool as relates to things we do but I’ll give it a shot.

In this first 2 decades of the 21st century, we view cool as something to die for; something worth admiration; something worth reckoning with; something we want to emulate; something worth our energy investment.

Now that isn’t bad at all. It isn’t bad looking for things to emulate or be involved in; in fact it’s very good but when we pick useless things like we’ve been doing in recent years, then we begin to do stuff that are uncool in name of being ‘cool’. From the definition, it’s no wonder that celebrities rule the world in our day; they set the standards of cool and we follow them like sheep and do what they’re doing without even questioning if it’s cool or not. I find it very depressing that in this generation, we’ve lost the ability to question the intelligence of things.

Now that I’ve made my point, I would like to take us 100 years back. For those of us in Nigeria, 100 years ago is too far to have records but 80 years ago, let me tell you what cool was. Cool was being actively involved in the fight for independence. Cool was using the intellect you had acquired to play your active role in the aiding of and at the same time bringing down the Colonial Administration. For those in the Western World especially Britain and America, cool was leaving your family and even school to join the army. Cool was getting on mission ships loaded to Africa and come to educate our ancestors. Cool was inventing stuff and being the next revolutionists. If the concept of cool had been lost right from the beginning, there would be no internet, no television, no computer, no telephone, no Bill Gates and Steve Jobs with Microsoft and Apple respectively; all these things we enjoy now wouldn’t have been if the wonderful men and women of the 1980’s to 1999 didn’t know what cool was. In America, if the wonderful men and women of the 1950’s didn’t know what cool was, there would still be racial segregation in America, there would have been no Martin Luther King Jr. or Malcom X or Rosa Parks or Maya Angelou; these people although Americans are the reasons Blacks have voices today world-wide.

We live in a bad generation; technology has become so advanced that we have become complacent with the way things are. We no longer live with a war-time mind-set even though there are flames all around us, we live with a peace time mind set which is ironical. Technology has made us so satisfied we no longer think of how we can help, but we want to live in the moment till the chaos around envelopes us.

Cool is not being okay with the way things are and developing new and better things. Cool is not lying to ourselves that everything has been invented but finding new things or improving on those already invented.

Cool was MLK. Martin Luther King Jr. lived for only 39 years but by the time he died, he had a PH.D, a Nobel Prize and he played the key role in ending most of racial segregation in the America. America has had 44 Presidents of which more than half are dead but MLK not even a white talk more of a President has a public holiday every year celebrated in honour not just in America where it is celebrated officially, but unofficially in every other black nation.

Cool was Nelson Mandela choosing to spend 27 years in Prison, Kwame Nkrumah of Ghana some years also, just to see their countries freedom.

Cool is Malala Yousofzai who won a Nobel Prize at just age 17. Cool is Nigerian Zuriel Oduwole who is currently travelling around the world as a public speaker. Cool is a young lady i follow on social media; Wadi Ben-Hirki who has a foundation and is fighting for various issues including female education. I follow a twitter page called Trends of Nigeria they advertise cool stuff from artists making various expert works from all types of materials to recently the video of a student here in Nigeria who made a drone and it actually flew and landed! Cool is Chimamanda Ngozi Adichiee and many other Nigerian writers who currently travels around speaking out on world issues.

But you and I reading this, what have we done? What have we done that is cool? Those of you reading this in your 40’s, 50’s and 60’s, what have you done that is cool? Those of you who are still young and agile, what do you plan to do that is cool instead of the nonsense of the 21st Century? What mark have you made on humanity? There are plenty problems in Nigeria alone to solve but what are we doing? Do you know the uneducated majority will be our problems in the future?

There are some things I challenge seriously and wonder where we dropped our brains. I heard of this new clothing line by Kanye West – What do they do? They make clothes with rips everywhere and yet we spend 10’s of Dollars we could use for a better cause to purchase them. Excuse me, if you wear clothes torn everywhere what different are you from the poor almajiri boys and mad people we see in the market? Or even worst, what different are we from our 20th Century ancestors who we regard as the uncivilized ones? Let me answer. The only difference between you and those almajiri boys is that while their clothes tore due to use, you bought torn clothes making you even madder!

I don’t listen to Nigerian music and it’s for a reason. Music is harmonic pleasing sound – Good music is music that teaches a message but the music in the Nigerian mainstream is something else. What’s cool about a song that has barely 6 lines of lyrics and no message with raucous videos displaying voluptuous content? No wonder the rate of immorality increase by the day! I don’t blame the artists though, it isn’t their fault. Anytime a new artist, a nobody with no connections tries to make a song with perfect sense and wonderful lyrics, they don’t sell; why? Because we don’t question our intelligence and automatically write them off. I have very few artists I respect in Nigeria people like Timi Dakolo, Waje, which kind because they know what it means to preach a message with your songs. From Dakolo’s totally sensible Love songs for his wife to Wajes new inspirational track Mountain that’s music and they’re doing something cool!

There’s gang violence everywhere in Chicago and artists like Lecrae and Derek Minor make music for this gang kids, to keep them out. That’s cool!

We watch movies every day and while some just keep with the so called ‘cool’ trends, others inspire us and leave us fuelled. That’s cool!

Black people are naturally talented people. All around the world black people are doing and have been doing revolutionary stuff but what are we doing? Why are we lying around mediocre when we were created to be meteoric?

I could ramble on and on about this topic but ill end here. I want you to think today. What could you possibly do that would leave a mark on humanity? What could you possibly do to create a change? What could you do that is cool?

Thank you for reading fam, i’ll see ya’ll next month!

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Timeline

Ladies and gentlemen introducing once again the wonderful, the extraordinary, the phenomenal, the narcissist, your favorite blogger… Wait for it… Wait for it… Deshboss!

So hello FAM, once again I’m back. It’s been a month of thinking, of reflection and of observation, and this week my topic relates to time. I titled it ‘timeline’ for fancy (well, I needed a title and I couldn’t just use time (😎😎).

If you can remember, I wrote a post some months back about freedom, to find that click here. But I recall making a point that freedom was a thing of the mind, and sometimes we put ourselves in physical cages. I specifically stated the cage of competition; my topic relates to this competition.

How does time relate to competition?

Often, we unfortunately find ourselves competing with people through life.

Some, from birth till date, we compare ourselves to others and painfully, most times this competition is one sided. I read a historic article about a Nigerian military head who was technically twins with another soldier due to how they grew together through life, one day he got a rumor the other soldier would commit a coup d’état against him, he immediately ordered his killing. Why? Competition? Now why do we compete with others? A misconception of time.

We all live in a world where over time and years, a sequence and time frame has been dictated.

What do I mean? We live in a world that already gives us a blue print for life;

At 2 – Go to nursery school.

At 10/11 – Go to secondary school.

At 17/18 – Graduate from Secondary School and go to the University/College.

At 21/22 – Graduate from University.

At 25 – Be self-made and settled; for ladies be married.

At 27-29 – Be married for men.


On and on, the world system has dictated a time-line for us.

It’s so painful that when something doesn’t happen according to this ‘time-line’ in our lives, we get depressed and worried and feel we don’t deserve to exist.

I’ve seen it over and over again and personally felt it – that my life is too slow and not following sequence but we forget one fact;

That above this ‘time-line’ lives a master of time who controls everything.

Not to get spiritual, but come on, we all know even when we deny it that there’s someone who controls everything somewhere. Even when we claim we control our lives, sometimes after setting everything in place including extra, we see our plans fail in front of our eyes with no practical explanation.

Back to my topic, the point I’m driving at is that there is no time-line. Yes, there’s that common cliché we see happening to 2 or more people but there’s no standard, life is different for everyone. If our lives followed the same sequences I’m sorry to say but the world would be boring. There would be no rich or poor, no employer or employee, since we’d all move together. This imbalances are what makes the world better. Let me step it down with my crazy illustrations.

For those of you in Nigeria, imagine you attended Secondary School with someone and graduated the same day. A month later by virtue of his/her parents financial status this person progressed to a Private University while you waited almost a year later or even more (due to Nigeria’s crazy complex systems). 4 years later that friend graduates while you still have 2 years of schooling. After graduating, your friend spends 3 years without employment while you get employed immediately you leave school. Now you’re one step ahead. The friend that got a job 1 year behind you now buys a car in 3 years and you who has been working longer doesn’t have a car. Then you get married before the friend, then the friend has a child before you…on and on.

Now the temptation is to treat life as a race and compete with this friend ignoring the fact that none of the problems were anticipated when you were still in your Secondary School Senior year. What happened?

Life Happened

Life simply showed you that there was no sequence to it. It propounded the theorem that everyone needs their own time and speed to run their own distance. Yesterday a number of my Secondary School Mates officially started their journey in the university while another number finished their first year 2 weeks ago. Does that mean those other people are permanently ahead of those who just started university yesterday? Definitely not, as life progresses and God exercises control, it won’t be like that.

Have you ever asked yourself why people older than you with almost 10 years work under you? Did they commit any sin? No! Life happened and God exercised control.

At times another factor that affects our movement is that of age. We forget so easily that

‘Age is a number, maturity is a choice’

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When people ask me what the right age for something is, I ask, are you mature enough? Marriages have broken down because a 35 year old man or woman was immature and not ready for marriage. That’s sad and it sounds impossible but some people never really mature. So what’s my remedy? As you grow make sure you mature, don’t be a child throughout. Grow! How do you grow? Like I always propound, observe and see. Look at the pit falls of others and swerve to avoid them. Treat yourself like an adult then act like one. Like they say, ‘whatever you can conceive you can achieve’ or ‘as you think of yourself, so you are’.

Another factor that affects us psychologically is having ‘mates’ at the back of our minds. A wise person once said

‘In life there are no mates. Only in school’

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The sooner you realize that life isn’t a race, and you’ll get there when you’re meant to be, the happier and more content you will be. I weep to see people jump into dysfunctional marriages because they wanted to beat time and not to ‘grow too old’ or young men engage in dubious money making schemes because ‘they’re meant to be rich by now’. All these things are fallacies created by our world. At times being patient is Gods time of preparing you for something much bigger and greater that might catapult you ahead of that so-called ‘successful mate’ of yours

I know this post sounds rough but in summary what I’m saying is;

1. Don’t spend your life competing with someone else. Our lives are different and can’t travel the same path at the same speed.

2. Don’t get depressed and beat yourself down when your ‘mates’ are ahead of you.

3. Age is a number, maturity is a choice.



Thank you for reading fam really appreciate till next time



MESSAGE TO THE INSECURE PERSON

Good Evening fam, it’s yet another blog post Thursday. I apologise for taking a one month hiatus yet again, it’s due to the long work of fiction I’m working on. I’ll soon be done anyways that’s good news.

Today, however I write with extreme passion. This specific fire has been burning in me for a week plus now and I couldn’t just wait for today to make this post.

Today my message is for the insecure person. Now there are several types of insecurity but today I’m talking of one type and that is ‘Personal Image Insecurity’. I know it probably doesn’t exist but necessity is the mother of all inventions.

What is Personal Image Insecurity, it is when you aren’t content with yourself and so strive to be part of a different group of people.

We all go through this insecurity right from when our 5 year old selves wanting to be part of the older kids and play with them or when we wanted to be part of the cool kids who oblivious to us were even our age mates. It’s naturally ingrained but as we grow through childhood and into teenage, it’s expected to disappear. We are expected to accept ourselves but very sadly most of us never grow, we remain like those children who want to be part of the ‘cool kids’. The problem with wanting to be part of the cool kids is when you eventually become part of them they suddenly seem like the dull kids and you want to be part of another mentally created cool kids and on and on till you lose yourself.

William Shakespeare once said,

“To thine own self be true!”

That means don’t lie to yourself. Be yourself and don’t live under a façade. Christian Hip Hop artist Lecrae also in his track Free from It all said,

‘Live for everyone else gotcha losin’ yourself’

Now to why this post has been burning me, it is so unfortunate and misfortunate all together that many people in our world today refuse to accept who they are and what they have and want to be what they aren’t. What do I mean? There’s this infamous story of this young man whose mother had a badly damaged eye which made him ashamed of her. One day she finally told him she had incurred that injury while saving him from death as a baby. The part I’m focusing on is ashamed of her. But this example doesn’t illustrate my point well. About two weeks ago I heard that a young man in JSS3 denied his father. His father was a poor man managing to educate him in one of Jos finest Secondary Schools. Because he was ashamed of his father’s clothing and car, he told his classmates that was his driver. Long story cut short the Principal found out and punished the boy and I commend her although not fully because counseling him would have been much more effective anyways she just saved this young man a lot of future stress that’s if he got the right message.

Many of you will be quick to call him foolish boy but many of us do the same thing. Lemme give some examples. You’re a young guy and manage to feed your hungry phone with 200mb every week which is really stringent but you’re aspiring and saving up to buy an IPhone7. Question?

How are you going to feed that IPhone? Why do you want the Iphone? The same reason that boy called his father his driver, you want to fit in, you don’t want to be looked down upon get it?

Another example, your parents are poor people managing to pass by every day and they manage to send you to the University. When you reach there, you start forming big girl. The garri you will normally soak without groundnut sef and eat with your parents at home, on arriving campus you won’t even near Garri, you’ll join ‘pepperdemgang’ and form ‘Shawarma burger’ girl.

It doesn’t end there, I’ve personally seen adults and it pains me do this.

You’re a single lady who just got a job and you begin to see the successful pimping single girls around. Immediately you want to be part of them. Mary K Products are in vogue, you go to your friend who sells Mary K products and take products on loan (bashi) of N150, 000 (N stands for Nigerian currency Naira) Tomorrow you see a new kind of shoe in vogue, you go and take N20, 000 bashi. By next month when you’re supposed to pay off your Mary K products, you pay half and go and take bashi of another N100, 000 Avon products because Avon is in vogue. Then you notice your car is out of vogue, you take car loan and go and buy a very expensive car. Before you know it, you’ll reach broke because of your salary deductions and your creditors will start calling then you’ll go to this friend borrow N20, 000 and pay one off, go to the next person and borrow N50,000 on and on till you exhaust your friends. My question once again is who you were deceiving?

And even married people suffer this…You know you and your husband don’t make much but because you want to level to the other women around, you force your child into an expensive Primary School, Secondary School or even Private University. Then you can’t let your child go to school with biscuit or inferior provisions, etc. because it doesn’t level up. By the time you’re done sending the child to school, you’ll soak garri and eat with your husband. Who are you deceiving? Who is being cheated?

Folks, truth is we can’t all be even in life and whether we like it or not, there will always be a higher class than us. They will never get exhausted

So what am I suggesting. Again

‘To Thine own self be true’ be 100% authentically real

Don’t lie. When you catch yourself envying the ‘cool kids’ remind yourself that trying to be them won’t make you them but working hard and diligently might take you where they are and even beyond one day. For those of you like me whose Parents managed to escape the village by the tip of the river bank, if they lived false lives, they wouldn’t have been where they are today and able to give us the lives we live even if it doesn’t measure up to what we want.

Something I do every day when I see something I want but don’t have is I use it as motivation and fuel to work hard so one day my children will not ‘be ever seeing but not having’ like me. So that I can provide it for my own children that’s the life. Truth is bitter so I understand for those of you who find this hard but all that money and time you spend trying to be like ‘dem guys’ will fare a lot better and produce more if you spend that time working hard to make it.

So fam, I’ve said it at least, I feel a huge load off my chest.

Be you, don’t lie to yourself, and accept where you are and work hard!

Song Recommendations – Tedashii Be me and I’m Good. Group 1 Crew – I Know

God bless ya’ll have a blessed day or night as the case may be.

Judge not – Prejudice – Stereotype 

​Hello fam I’m back after one month exactly. I’ve been busy working trying to put a Novel in place and boy it ain’t easy. Today I’m back with a post about judgment and i hope you enjoy it. I have good news after too 

Don’t judge and you won’t be judged. Don’t judge me and I wont judge you. We hear this statements everyday and in fact utter them but I don’t think we understand the gravity of those statements which is why today my blog post is titled Prejudice

What is Prejudice? According to the good old faithful Oxford Advanced Learners Dictionary 8th edition, Prejudice means an unreasonable dislike of or preference for a person, group, custom, etc. In other words, Prejudice is when you make a baseless judgement of someone or something and so express hatred for it without knowing what it really is.

Let me get my definitions over it. Stereotype according to the same dictionary means a fixed idea or image that many people have of a particular type of person or thing, but which is not often true in reality.

Now a stereotype is an idea; a judgement of someone or something you make which is not exactly true but because you have had a run in with the person or thing. For example, if a girl gets almost raped or hears of a close girl almost raped and because of that hates and fears men in general so much that she judges them the same, that’s a stereotype but prejudice is when you create a judgement based on nothing at all. It is a baseless argument. It is hating for no reason no backing be it legal or what.

Where I come from in Jos, Nigeria, West Africa, the World, Planet Earth, the Solar system, prejudice is very common and I believe it is everywhere but let me speak from my locality. So easy we make judgements without facts. Let me give a typical example.

You’re driving down the street at maybe Tudun Wada those of you who live in Jos will understand and you see a young girl who is facially or body shapely 18-22 if you don’t get to see her face backing a baby and selling kose- Akara- Beancake. Most people and I myself am formerly guilty of this immediately form our opinion, In hausa we’ll say, ‘ai ga wani karuwa, yan kauyen da sun yi ciki an kore su’ (if my hausa isn’t perfect I apologize but you get the gist). We cant use literal translation but basically in English what It means is ‘Look at one of those foolish girls, one of those village girls who came to stay with people in the city and got pregnant and lost their jobs’

But ladies and gentlemen let me break to you that some of those young ladies aren’t foolish girls as we claim. Some of them are victims of rape which was done without condoms, some of them are actually wives trying to make a living but with kid faces and bodies. Some of them are trying to make their way through school. Some of them are actually pregnant ‘foolish village girls’ but they’re trying to make a living and improve their situation but the second we see them we stereotype them and make a judgement already.

Its human to judge, but we can try to reduce the way we judge it would help us relate more better. Personally, I began to practice a system, when I meet or chat someone up for the first time, I put whatever opinion of the person I may have before hand gotten from other loquacious people or whoever linked us up at bay and try to make my own assessment. True in most cases the ‘gist’ is true but there are some cases in which people are wrongly presented maybe because they don’t maintain a good image or something, and if we flow with the water we join others to stereotype them.

A friend at the University of Jos recently shared an experience. He needed help with something and had approached a lecturer for help. The lecturer called him to his office and asked him why he smokes. Why? Simply because he naturally had dark lips this man assumed that he was a substance abuser. He kept telling the man he wasn’t a smoker but the man refused to bend.

You see we make opinions and refuse to bend. I have been at the end line of people making before hand opinions and I promise it wasn’t funny. So let me rephrase the phrase I started this post with, 

Don’t make a before hand opinion of someone, try to know them and their stories then you can make an opinion’ 

I believe this quote is much more efficient than ‘Don’t judge me and I wont judge you’. Like or hate it, you will be judged but you do your part and don’t judge and karma would surely reward all those who judged you.

 ‘Do to others as you would have them do to you’

A quote by Toby Mac says, “Don’t judge my story by the chapter you walked in on” That makes a lot of sense, don’t judge someone based on the chapter you walked in on. In this case for my blog post, the chapter you walked in on is the story, the info, the gist you’ve heard about the person. Clear prejudice and make judgements only when you know people.

So announcement time. Ladies and gentlemen I got featured on Teen Ink! Crazy right I’m so super excited but i need you votes to Stand a chance of appearing in the paper back edition so head over to Vote Here and like my story. 

Thanks fam thanks for reading God bless you and don’t judge 

FREEDOM

Hello guys, its been exactly a month IKR ya’ll have missed your favourite blogger. We’ll I’m back. I’ve been fine thank you, just thinking and observing and today I finally have something to share.

So guys, today my blog post is going to be a little different. It consists of thoughts I have gathered all pertaining to one large topic FREEDOM. I’m going to make three points all relating to freedom. This thinking was actually sparked off by a group study of a poem at the American Corner in Jos (BTW one of the smartest concentration of people in one place at a time I’ve met) – I know why the caged bird sings by Maya Angelou. Looking at the poem for the first time, you’ll automatically analyse it as one of those black civil rights movements era poems, but what I love about group discussions is they open your mind and make you think of other stuff. The stuff might not be directly related to the poem, but it sure sparks off thinking. That’s exactly what happened.

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So firstly, Freedom isn’t a condition it’s a personal decision. What do I mean? Its possible to be free with no restrictions and still be caged. Caged in a psychological prison. One thing that stood out in the poem is that while the caged bird sang, the free bird wasn’t singing. Now singing is an act of joy and hope; we see that very well In the Negro spirituals. The free bird is probably so free he has no joy again and instead of singing in his freedom, to ease his boredom he begins to compare with other birds. Now Competition is just one instant of how freedom is a mental decision but it is the most common in today’s world where we all want success at any cost. Last week, I remember watching President Trump of the USA speaking at the National Prayer Breakfast (BTW I’ve never really been anti-trump) and I must confess I was truly touched. Let me quote part of what he said to help me make my point.

“…We forget this–that the quality of our lives is not defined by our material success…I tell you that from somebody that has had material success and knows tremendous numbers of people with material success–the most material success. Many of those people are very, very miserable, unhappy people”

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Even though he was talking about faith, This coming out of a rich business man, a billionaire and a President of the Greatest Nation on Earth is really something. To hear him say that many rich friends of his are unhappy and miserable is enough proof that freedom is a thing of the mind. I’m not concluding but probably the reason this people are unhappy is because they are in a psychological prison. Let me give an illustration.

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You’re a business man, very rich but you aim to be the richest man in Africa. Now you’re so obsessed with being Africa’s richest that you’re perpetually sad, even when you make a great achievement, it dosen’t matter because your eyes are set on something else. You don’t have to be a business man, it can be a High School or College student who wants to be first, somebody who wants to be the most popular, etc but my point is because your eyes are fully there, you limit yourself to a cage and instead of happily singing and being happy with your financial or social or whatever freedom and security, you remain sad and bitter. In this case you’re so free you start competing with other free birds which is an unhealthy lifestyle and totally uncalled for. Also, its painful that some people in cages don’t sing. Instead they are so bitter in the cage and become so depressed that even when they get released they fly too low and remain mediocre till they die. So my first principle.

#Principle 1- Freedom is a thing of the mind

Now next, I know we’ll all rather be free birds than caged birds, agreed but if we don’t form a pseudo cage, things can get out of hand. What am I saying? Too much of everything is bad and freedom is no exception. There’s this story of Adonis a bird whose father warned him not to fly too high but in his arrogance, he did and his wings got burnt. In my metaphor-attempt, Adonis wanted to be too free and so he pushed the limits. I’ve seen many people who wished for freedom and when they got it they blew it off, they lost themselves, some their sanity, some their purity, some have become hooked to some social vices and depressingly ultimately, some lose their lives. What point am I driving at, most of us reading this are ‘free’ people but even in our freedom we have to impose some disciplines some form pseudo caging on ourselves to maintain our freedom and to keep singing. So let me state my second principle.

#Principle 2 – Freedom without discipline is a road back to bondage.

Thirdly, Now being in a cage – a cage is any form of restriction imposed on you by higher authority be it academic or what, you need to have the right mindset. There are 2 probable mindsets you can have. Firstly, you can decide within you to observe how other free birds fall and get injured and sing of how you’ll do it differently or you can just sing of freedom and extreme freedom.

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What’s the difference, when the first type get out, they fly well and enjoy their lives singing and the second type fly to all the limits till they get burnt and fall. Many of us are in some form of cage, some in Secondary boarding schools-some in Private Tertiary institutions-some still in their parents houses but what defines our freedom and helps us not to be like Adonis is our mindset in the cage and what kind of freedom we sing about. So Principle 3

#Principle 3 – The right kind of freedom is determined by our attitude in the cage.

So those are my thoughts about freedom and I hope we take it too heart. Those of you reading in some form of cage, have the right attitude, notice the pitfalls of others and avoid them and keep singing, those of you who are free, make sure you make some guidelines or you might just get caged back and those of you who are unhappy with where you are though free, stop looking too far and make up your mind to be content. If you need to know the secret to happiness, follow this link to a previous blog post and read http://wp.me/p7KVz0-4s

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Thanks fam for reading, a 1000 words plus wow. I’m getting better at this. See you when next I see you maybe another month.

 

 

OVERCOME YOUR FEARS AND ‘FAILURES’

Hey guys, your number one blogger is here. Your blogger extraordinaire is here with the first post of 2017. Everyone has been shouting 2017 is my year of success well I hope this helps you and its also part and parcel of my #HEALYOURWORLD series. P.s. I might reduce my write frequency
It is often said, the ability to conquer your fears and move on from your ‘failures’ is elemental to Success. What does this tell us? It tells us to be big boys and girls and it also teaches us an elemental truth I would soon come to. A rather humorous African quote says,

“When life gives you pepper, make pepper-soup”

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Its funny but its the truth often life sends pepper our way sends discouragements some harsh trials and harsh winds.

What defines us is how well we rise above the tide. How well we swim pass this waves and rocket above this problems. I think I’m finally ready to state the elemental truth which is my first principle for today

#Principle 1 – Life is full of ups and downs. What makes us different is how we respond positively or negatively.

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Next, I intend to get rid of something I call a victim mindset. A victim mindset is one of the saddest things that happens to people all over the world. It Is when you tell yourself and sort of decide within yourself that what happened to you happened to you because of something you did and you will never recover from it. Let me be plain truthful That’s rubbish! And its so sad we humanly always create victims of ourselves.

People, troubles come naturally, problems aren’t different from the waves that appear on water;they come with life and because a problem is vaguely or vividly related to a circumstance in your life doesn’t mean its localized to you. It comes with life and if you cant ride the wave; don’t bother taking your surf board on the ocean. In other words, for the fact you are alive and hope to live a long fruitful life, learn to deal with the drama and save yourself from Trauma. So my second principle

#Principle 2 – A victim mindset cripples us from moving on

Now, let us examine ‘failure’ and fear. Take note I use ‘failure’ always in quote because I don’t think that word is healthy. Lets see it as a temporary recess. Like the period between death and Jesus’ second coming as a temporal thing except of course we fear the wrong result.

Now lets examine how to fear wrong and right

Fear as a word can be made into an acronym and it actually possesses 2 meanings. Its either you:

F – Forget                                                                                    F- Face

E – Everything                                                                           E – Everything

A – And                                                                                        A- And

R – Run                                                                                        R- Rise

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So after every ‘failure’ and setback, we have 2 choices either to FEAR or fear. I am using and recommending you use FEAR in capital to represent the good fear and fear in lower-case to represent the bad fear. Anyways we either, forget everything; to forget all the good that has happened to us and our possible window out of the situation; to blind our eyes to everything and everyone; to shut ourselves out from the world and run run run to where? Actually no where till we eventually depress ourselves or we can decide to face; to stand eye to eye with; to find a solution; to accept our failures and admit to others and receive their counsel; to embrace the situation and accept what has happened as it is and rise slowly.

Rising again wont be easy. Lets make Rachel Platten’s fight song our soundtrack :

“This is my fight song take back my life-song

Prove I’m alright song my powers turned on

Starting right now ill be strong

Ill play my fight song and I don’t really care if no one believes in me

Cause I still got a lot of fight left in me”

Don’t ever let your fight die. A bible verse says

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear but a spirit of power, of love and a sound mind.

When an athlete has an accident and loses their legs or their motor skills or when someone has an accident or a stroke, it takes time in physiotherapy to calmly again like a baby regain the ability to eat, talk and do other primary functions till one day you can run again.

When an eagle gets injured it also has to go through flying 101 again before achieving excellence that’s how it is when we face ‘temporal recesses’ (take note I didn’t use failure this time). We have to humble ourselves and slowly but steadily rise to our peak which will drag me to my next lesson but first lemme give our third principle.

Principle #3 – We should learn to FEAR and not fear

Now my last lesson. I know those of you familiar with me are used to 3 but today I have to include a fourth is all about wisdom in ‘temporal recesses’. Now when we make mistakes, the ideal thing to do is learn from them. To try our possible best not to make them again. To sit down evaluate and examine what led to our recess and try to avoid it re-occurring.

This is a personal exercise I do and want to advice to everyone reading or watching this. Whenever you make a mistake and have those moments of regret (if you must have them), sit down get a piece of paper and evaluate how it happened in the first place then think deep and write a resolution not to do it again. It has helped before and will really help.

A quote once said, “they say we learn from our mistakes, ill soon be a professional” and there was a picture of a little birdie. Well true but another picture said something else. “The wisest people are those who learn from the mistakes of others”.

So In essence I’m also advising something else. When you see someone make a mistake don’t give that skeptical look and attitude, but examine it see where the person went wrong and then don’t go that way. Its like going on a road and seeing someone hit the tree, you swerve to the other side so you wont hit the tree but when you hit the tree after seeing the person in front hit it, even a baby will call you foolish. Its not different from when you see someone try something and fail (hit a wall) and still do it.

So learn from others mistakes and learn from your mistakes. Take note don’t be deceived that if you learn from others mistakes you wont make yours. Yes you will make yours and someone else will have an opportunity to learn from them and how you rose again. So finally I reach my final fourth principle

#Principle 4 – Mistakes are lessons. We learn from those we make and those others make.

SO People, I think this 4 principles are a recipe to dealing with fear and ‘temporary recesses’ (‘failures’). I hope you find this helpful and travel well to your destiny. STAND UP YOU ARE A CHAMPION. Peace out and to my American readers a good farewell to POTUS and welcome to Trump. Remember Obamas words

“Believe in your capacity to create change”

So this blog post has a video find it below download and enjoy 

DREAM IT – BELIEVE IT – ACHIEVE IT

Ladies and gentlemen your #1 Blogger is back again. Its blog post Thursday!! So today’s topic is inspirational its all part of my #HEALYOURWORLD series.

So firstly, a dream in my own definition (I wont quote any dictionary) is something we believe we aspire and will go any length to achieve. This is different from the dream you have in the night mind you. But the pessimism that is so rampant in the world will tell you dreams don’t come true. Especially in an African culture, if you dream to be anything outside some professional settings, you’re regarded as very un-serious (take note I included that very) but dreams do come true . So my first principle:

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#PRINCIPLE 1 … Dreams do come true

If Edison didn’t dream of the light bulb, we’d be In darkness. If Oliver and Wilbur didn’t dream of the plane, the world will be so (I cant even imagine). If so on and so on I can name examples didn’t dream what is now wont be existing. Every new idea is born of a dream and only a dream can give birth to a lot of new stuff. Everyday technology is improving and new stuff are coming out because someone has decided to step out of their comfort zone and decided to act upon his dream. My case study for this post is one of my greatest historical figures Martin Luther King Jr. I want to use Martin to prove to anyone reading who believes otherwise that you don’t have to be a doctor or engineer or the sorts to dream something new and bring about a change. Before I start let me give my second principle

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#PRINCIPLE 2 … Every new idea, movement or change is a result of a dream

So back to Martin. Martin Luther King Jr. Had a dream that a black man will rule America in a time when black people were not yet allowed to be in the same bus with white people. Oliver and Wilbur dreamt of a big flying bird at a time when gravity still forbade anything big going up and coming down. Oliver and Wilbur faced a lot of opposition and lost their licenses, Martin got jailed several times for his fight. Oliver and Wilbur eventually pulled through. Martin too eventually got the law signed into congress. Why did I compare this 2 men, I wanted to prove that the pattern is the same in whatever field you may find yourself. My dear Nigerians, I may not know his story ill be sure to research but the person who acted Martin Luther King Jr. In the movie Selma was one of our own; a Nigerian. Why did I bring this up too, because I want to clear that belief that a Nigerians influence stops at local championism (don’t bother searching the word; I must have made it up) anyways my main point is in whatever field we find ourselves, whatever sphere of life, we can dream and we can achieve it just takes believe. It was once said, it is only what you dream of and have passion for you can achieve. That is very true all it takes for your dream to become reality is passion and you believing it. Again my Nigerians, don’t you find it amazing that in the wake of the announcement of the US elections, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie one of us was invited to a radio station to comment. She is one of us, but she has pursues her dream so much in the literary world that when Chimamanda speaks, the world pauses to read. Wole Soyinka won a Nobel Prize in Literature. There’s so much more we can achieve from where we are. All we have to do is stop dreaming alone and work on the dream believe it and achieve it. Ill close with 2 quotes I cherish a lot

‘Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate,

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure,

We may ask ourselves who am I to be

brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?

The question is who are we not to be?

We were born to make manifest through the glory of God that is within us

And while we let our own light shine,

We unconsciously give others permission to do the same’.

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(this was how I learnt it anyways what may be seen in the picture may be slightly different but same message.

This quote is the final hammer that hits the nail of what I’m trying to say (well literally write). We just need to believe in ourselves and we can do anything. We are very powerful and we need not use our power

The second quote says;

‘In life work for a cause not for applause

Live to express, not to impress,

Don’t strive to make your presence noticed,

Just make your absence felt’.

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This was what Martin Luther King Jr. Did, he worked for a cause not for applause (he gave the Nobel prize money anyways), he lives to express and he only strove to make his absence felt. He died young below 40, but his impact continued.

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#PRINCIPLE 3 … What you dream of and believe, you can achieve

 

So Fam that’s that for today. I’ve by the power of God within me to make manifest delivered again today. I made a video some of you may have seen it about this topic and Martin Luther King Jr. In specific. For those who haven’t watched, I’ll attach a link. Go on, dream, believe it and achieve it. Second to last blog post of the year!!!

The Comfort Zone

Hey guys, its your favorite blogger again (pardon my narcissism). So I’m back again and this week (forth-night) my focus is leaving your comfort zone.

So the comfort zone this is a very popular term used everywhere; in church, in business, etc. People always make reference to an imaginary section of whatever geographical map called ‘Comfort Zone’ However this Comfort Zone is a mental thing its a time of rest you create for yourself, its when you decide your contented with things and so resort to a hiatus, its when you decide “I’m not going to work on any form of improvement, I’m happy the way thing is”. But well, there is no comfort zone really and i don’t think we should try and create one. Sadly, we don’t like stress and so the second we feel comfort and lack of strain we want to stay there we refuse to move (it’s only human anyways).

I’ll have to use a story to illustrate my first Principle…so we’re at this thanksgiving and my nephew (Cousins son actually but u know Africa) is restless running around and creating noise. An elder cousin gets a piece of paper and folds it into a play jet for my boy and he goes to flaunt it. His friends now rally round with the hope of getting a turn on the paper jet. Then my little wise man unfolds his jet cuts the paper into 4 equal pieces and makes everyone a jet.  Humorous right, but i drew a lesson from this. When he got his jet he had landed in his comfort zone but soon his friends created discomfort. So he willingly left his comfort zone to create another one. The idea is vague but then it leads to my first Principle today

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#Principle 1 – Our comfort zone ceases to be a comfort zone when we refuse to work on maintaining it

When we feel comfort and stay there very soon things begin to betwitch  our freedom. Its very sad that we have to live like this. The trace of this ailment this lack of comfort can well be traced to scripture to the fall of man. Since then, as humans we naturally crave comfort and it doesn’t come easy.

Anyways that’s not my reason for writing this post I’m writing this post to continue my rant on #HEALYOURWORLD…Healing your world involves leaving your comfort zone. As carefully stated in my video and last blog post, we all have talents and skills given to us by God. To some of us it might be the performing arts like singing, dancing, writing (Team spirit), etc. To others it might be the brains and we see ourselves going into medicine,teaching, etc. For some its an entrepreneurial spirit and they become business goons. Whatever God has given us can heal the world. A singer or dancer can perform and inspire,a  writer can write revolutionary stuff, a doctor can be involved in missions and free health care runs to people, a teacher can impact a generation and a business man can invest his money into charities and helping people. Basically where-ever you may find yourself you can create change. Some of us are so blessed we’re multi-talented and multi-blessed.

But a big restraint and I myself the self acclaimed ‘change advocate’ fall prey to this ill. That restraint is ‘THE COMFORT ZONE’. When we could be doing much more to change the system around us, we’re instead resting and saying, “Tomorrow”, “Maybe later in life” and a plethora of other excuses meanwhile the world passing in front of us is only getting sicker. People, we need to step out of comfort and realize that the longer we stay in that comfort the worst the situation will become and one day we’ll wish for comfort in this world but even a second we wont get. So today’s second principle

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#Principle 2 – Healing your world does not happen in your comfort zone

Its time we emulated my lil mans example and change things around us.Its time we stood up and made the world a better place for everyone. Allow me to become a philosopher

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#Principle 3 – When you make the world around you happy, you will be happy

So before i go let me promote someone who has taken his time to start healing his world. His name is Ephraim Gwadah, he is a fresh high school graduate with a voice to heal the nations and his track ‘Incredible God’ drops on Sunday. Believe he’s an ear-buster (if there’s anything like that) so anticipate it with me.

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Well thats all for now folks (Looney Toons throwback) see you when next i write. Capiche

 

#HEAL YOUR WORLD

Hey guys, so its Blog Post Thursday and im back with my words as usual. However, this weeks post is special. It took me time to think this and excitedly Make my first Video (blush). So i hope you enjoy the post and the video and please share ko!

So in the last 2 weeks, i’ve gotten so passionate about helping others and touching lives. I’ve grown so desperate to write my name in History and live a legacy and i believe we should all aspire for that. While we live our lives and chill and flex and write our names in the minds of everyone living within 10 years of us and be remembered for whatever, i think we should all aspire to leave lagacy behind. We should aspire to be immortal in the sense that our names should forever remembered for a famous and not an infamous reason. Lets take two people…in the next 100 years, Martin Luther King Jr. will be remembered and he died at 38 hes remembered for good. Adolph Hitler wont be forgotten too. Do you get me? I’m sure you do. So my first principle

Principle #1…Our aspiration should be to be remembered and not just impress today

Okay so now we’ve talked of Legacy building…next…most of you; my target audience are youth. Its so sad that we’re born to and inheriting a world way more evil than the one our parents inherited from their parents. We’re inheriting a world full of slaves and destitutes and its not getting better. Some people joke and say we are the leaders of tommorow but the old are still leading, but pure truth, we are the game changers. We owe ourselves the responsibility to change our world. To impact  it and influence it or the CNN we hate to hear today will be way worst in 30 years time so second Principle

Principle #2… The world we inherit is full of evil…we are the game changers

Well the video i made says the rest of this post. So please watch and i promise you wont stay the same. The video is actually made based on the concept of the original video People of a Second Chance by Group 1 Crew, but it carries a slightly different message, Check it out and share it with whomever you know. Join, lets Heal our World