Yo FAM, welcome to Blog Post Monthly #11 for 2018. So I feel somewhat guilty this would sound like many blog posts I’ve written before. But I feel the need strongly.
So as always I write blog posts in response to what I’ve been hearing people say over the month and conversations I’ve had. One problem I find too often is people who have been hurt countless times responding by refusing to love again. And this love isn’t restricted to romantic love. It’s in families, schools, hostels everywhere. People are scared of relationships and getting ‘attached’ for fear of getting hurt.
Well before I start I must say this: RELATIONSHIPS ARE STRESS!!! And I don’t think they’re worth it sometimes honestly
They are essential because they are part of our nature.
You see I am increasingly convinced every day that God made us for relationships whether we like/want it or not.
We might not want relationships but we need them.
God put it in our psyche to relate with others. If we didn’t need relationships, God himself won’t exist in a trinity. Lol Lame I’m using the bible to defend humans that are ‘scum’ but ill cite another example. When God created Adam though he was coming to the garden to see Adam every day he still created a woman because Adam was alone. Okay I’m about to say two things and if you get angry forgive me.
First, if you have one friend and you think it’s enough you lie! After all, “…A cord of three strands is not quickly broken”. If it’s only one friend you can keep fine but try two na
Second, if you don’t have a woman in your inner three squad whether its “best-friend” (quotes on purpose) or “girlfriend/bae/boo” or “wife” you are wrong! Ask Adam
Okay let me get serious. We have to admit that we were made for community and it’s a natural need. In school we were thought that the three basic physical needs are “Shelter, food and clothing”, Love and relationships and communion are also basic emotional needs. We are all In need of community – someone to talk to and share sorrows and joys with and that extra one to do extra love with. If you’re reading this admit it – despite your resoluteness to be single and not date and bla bla deep down you want to love and even when you warn your heart to behave! Pump blood kowe but no yeye thing will be catching feelings – I’m drifting from topic sorry.
All I’m saying here is we are made for love and relationships and should accept that
The second thing I want to say is it’s also important to know people will definitely hurt and use and misuse you. Think about it – whether you believe Jesus or not (at least I think we all agree he died) – If they could crucify and choose Barabbas over Jesus five days after shouting hosanna in the highest and not too long after eating his bread and fish they will hurt you too. And people will hurt you not necessarily because people want to hurt each other but it’s part of our fallen existence it happens. One of the side-effects of the fall is our incapacity to fully love and do it without hurting others and
On the days you recount all the people who’ve hurt you – remember to count those you have hurt intentionally and especially unintentionally too – then go out and love again.
Thirdly remind yourself that there are 7.3 billion people on earth. One of my favorite parts of the bible is where Mordecai told Esther deliverance would arise from elsewhere – in other words she wasn’t indispensable. Sweetheart yes you reading this! There are many people. When one walks out your life and shoots you, remove the bullet and replace the person. Yes you hate being used and you can’t be the one always making new friends that will eventually mess up but think of it as the viscous circle of life. It must happen so just flow with it honestly.
I think we need to create a new serenity prayer and this one is that
God give us the grace to know which friends are meant to last forever, the wisdom to know those who are meant for a season and the serenity to accept that we can’t keep some people.
Knowing who is who and what kind of friend is what kind is quintessential to our happiness.
In conclusion, underneath everything I’ve written, wisdom is key. I wrote this to dissuade you from stealing your happiness yourself by remaining stuck in a sea of depression caused by broken friendships and relationships and to advise you to accept nature and love again. The specifics of how to handle relationships and their intricacies I can’t say because every case is different that is why wisdom is key.
Be woke folks!