Ok. So it’s the tenth month of twenty-eighteen! This is going so fast I think my head might be spinning. Welcome to my tenth blog post monthly for this year! Sorry I couldn’t post on the first Thursday of the month as usual, I was rather busy and I didn’t see September flying the way she did!


So this month I’m going to be writing on a topic I’ve thought really deep on – it’s going to be on not letting the past you halt the future you.


Over the past few years and this last month in specific, I’ve heard a lot of people tell me they don’t know who they are anymore and want to get the “old them” back. They say they want to go back to themselves and don’t understand who they are now. Well I myself have battled this but I learnt a lesson I want to share with you today. I might be wrong but I think what I’m about to say is better than whining about our present reality.


Who you were is unimportant, who you are is not that important but who you will be is of key importance.

Who you were is unimportant, who you are is not that important but who you will be is of key importance.

Let me explain.


Who you were is unimportant. Why? Because that’s history. See who you were has a lot of glitches and I reckon you did not like the so called “Who you were” when you were there, but now because you see some defects in you, you have chosen to forget the glitches of who you were and only remember the ‘good parts’. This would ultimately lead to further decline if you continue that way.


If who you were was the perfect girl or guy fine! But it has passed and living in that past won’t help today so pick up her good parts, kiss her goodbye and move on.


Who you were is unimportant, who you are is not that important but who you will be is of key importance. (4)

But move on to where?


Who you are now is also unimportant. Why? Because we human beings are dynamic beings that are always undergoing change of one type or the other. Every day we interact with others and our environment and as we interact we change and mutate.


When you whine about who you are, you end up wasting your life because contrary to what you can see, who you are changes almost every day, week or month and you will end up whining your whole life.

Who you were is unimportant, who you are is not that important but who you will be is of key importance. (2)

In fact the past you that you yearn for might be the you that you were morning last month. So why are you whining! My advice? Pick up the good too and move.

Move to where?


Who you will be. This is most important. Why? Because we can’t change the past neither can we do time travel backwards but we have the power to influence the future to a degree.


You hate who you are now and like who you were? Pick up the good from both, gather other desirable characters and characteristics and work towards who you will be tomorrow and don’t get tired of working.

Who you were is unimportant, who you are is not that important but who you will be is of key importance. (3)

The most interesting part is that who you will be is also constantly changing because as you run you find new things you want and work towards them. This is good for your health.


I’m not being spiritual in this post but I’ll use the words of Paul the Apostle, “One thing I do, forgetting what is behind and pressing ahead”. This is what you should do.


So many people are stunted in growth because they are concerned with the past and living there. Others are angry with the present. Why not take all that energy and work towards the future?


I don’t assure you’ll ever be fully satisfied but a man who spends his life picking up new things and running forward will surely be happier at seventy than the man who spent his late teens and early twenties stunted in a cycle of depression over who he/she was and is.


Don’t let the past rob you of the future. Don’t let the present stunt you. Wake up every day and be determined to make yourself the best version of you.


And I wrote this post with the assumption that the reason you mourn over who you are and who you are is because of your personal opinion and introspection and not solely the opinion of others. The opinion of ‘others’ (and by this I mean trusted well-meaning people who actually love you – I won’t tell you how to identify them) is not null but shouldn’t be most important but that isn’t the message of this blog post – I’ve preached it countlessly in former post.


I hope you find the freedom to decide who you will be and get freed form the hurt of holding to the past.


Love. Nen



13 thoughts on “The Past YOU versus The Future YOU

  1. I would like to suggest that people who often say they have lost a sense of self actually mean that they have dropped their own dreams and have so chased another or perhaps have in a sense ‘died to themselves’ for the sake of a relationship. Sometimes how we interpret these terms really matter. On a personal level I thought Christian marriage was throwing away all that God had said to me and cleaving to my husband’s visions and dreams. Well that didn’t work….all it did was make me frustrated and to some extent angry. In that space when I realised this….3 kids later lol. I longed for myself, my carefree, driven self.
    But I didn’t stop there, I took time to find out what brings me joy and I focused on it. That alone brought me out and propelled me into the future I am now creating for myself. I think we all need to realise more and more that we have the power to carve out the future we desire to have.


  2. This is so beautiful and I totally agree with you! We are constantly evolving and experiencing new things which ultimately prepare us for the future. Mental, emotional and spiritual growth is so important and it won’t happen if we refuse to change and prefer staying in one spot🍃. Thank you so much for this post Nenkinan (l actually called you by your name today 🤗)


  3. Beautifully penned! The ability to adapt to any situation in life is what makes us dynamic because life is always changing and for us not to be stagnated we must follow suit .


  4. Very well said! I love your summary “Wake up every day and be determined to make yourself the best version of you.” I think this is what life is about- deciding each day what version of ourselves we would to be 😊


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