How’re ya’ll? Hope your weeks are going well?
Well me being on WordPress makes it pretty obvious I’m a writer 😎😎 (NOT A NERD!!!)
Today was a milestone for me. I got published on a reputable African Journal of literature for the first time!!! 😁😁😊 the Kalahari Review. This is very humbling for me. First I’m young just 18 and I’m not even a univeristy student I’ve been learning at home on my laptop. Surprisingly again, today i just Googled my name and found one of my poems published on Utraa.!!
Thank you all for you prayers kind words and support. We’ll make greater heights together. Find the links to both published articles below.
Non fiction essay – The Emotional Package Called Weather on Kahalari Review – https://kalaharireview.com/the-emotional-package-called-weather-f12e993183f9
Hey guys, hello and welcome to July 2017 (oh time why dosth thou run!). Already it’s been a long, crazy and adventure filled year and if what they say about the end being better than the beginning is true, then we’re in for a ride.
So enough intro. This month my major blog post is about an error I’ve been sighting too commonly of recent in young people. It’s the reason many people get into trouble, the reason many guys and girls lose their significant others, the reason many friendships break.
This silent vice is trying to be more than one person.
What do I mean? Some years ago, Disney Channel brought a blessing and problem into our lives – Hannah Montana. Hannah occupied the space Jesus occupied outside Sunday school in some of our hearts. It was exciting, captivating and tantalizing. I can remember watching Hannah Montana marathons from morning to night. There were school bags, purses, anything – My Igbo brothers here in Nigeria took advantage of the infatuation. What was the story line like?
Miley Cyrus was a secret music star – Hannah Montana and kept it a secret. Normally she was Miley and when she wore a wig she became Hannah. Very smart I wish I had the kind of intellect the writer had. As I grew I saw other shows and even full movies taking the idea on. We started having secrets everywhere. Even my favourite Nickelodeon show – The Thunderman’s has the same storyline (Don’t look at me that way!). It even spread on Disney to High School Musical 2 where Gabriella left Troy because he was trying to roll with Sharpay and the squad at the same time. How did it end for all of them? Badly. Scarcely, Hollywood brought out the real truth about their concepts. In Hannah Montana the movie, she eventually had to confess after she lost her country boyfriend. In the Thunderman’s they eventually got caught. In HSM, Troy eventually had to choose one side after losing Gabriella.
Sadly I think we got captivated by the whole idea and forgot they were all caught and try to do the same thing. We always try to multi-identify and be more than one person. For some people, it’s the desire to be loved by everyone in every group especially in schools – Because of this they take 50 different shades and are different people around different groups. For some, its inferiority complex – because of this, they try to change who they are to roll with the high crew.
Whatever the reason – this is a very bad thing. There’s a reason God made us human beings not chameleons.
A chameleon has the right to change his colour 50 times a day but you a human have to remain the same.
You mustn’t be loved by the good crew and bad gang at the same time. You mustn’t be everywhere with everybody. Be one person and develop that one person. See when you’re more than one person, a time will come when the pressure is too much and you just break down and your secret gets exposed. You stand the risk of getting too far with one side and getting into trouble. Like Troy in HSM you stand the risk of losing your friends so be one person and stick with it. I really wish we didn’t have factions in the world but since factions are everywhere, examine and choose the best one for you and stay there no double-laning. Even if you seem weird in comparison to everyone, as one of my friends on the Blogosphere from That Diary (You should check her out) loves to say, “Be a Jughead and own it” (for those of you who don’t watch TV series Riverdale it means be different and own it).
I think I’ll stop here. The point I’m driving is very cunt and simple. Be you. Choose one side. Don’t try to be multiple personalities – it ends awfully. Best of Both Worlds never works. Ciao
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Good evening everybody. Lol I write long so here goes. The topic sounds catchy IKR. Well it’s because I literally just crawled out of a hole and a deep one. A hole of depression and frustration that left me wishing I were dead last week but today I have new hope and I want to share.
From the poem in the 2 pictures attached you can read about silence. That was what frustrated me. Gods seeming silence and neglecting. That feeling that my prayers were just hitting the ceiling and coming back. That lack of clarity and lack of feeling God and lastly I hated myself because I believed no Christian (a writer and noisy one like me at that) should feel that and doubt and question God. To most of you, I am a rock and you look up to me for emotional support and my writings. That led me to believe I shouldn’t have problems and I didn’t want to share my issues with anyone – I thought I was the strong one. I believed I should always be on Holy Ghost high and since it wasn’t happening I was angry. But I got disillusioned as I took some time and read the bible as well as sound Christian articles online.
Lamenting is not bad Infact the bible gave us a one book course in lamenting. The below verse has the words of Jeremiah from Lamentations 3 and this is exactly how I felt,
Even when I call out or cry for help, he shuts out my prayer
I took a trip to the Psalms written by the man after Gods own heart and saw the same pattern – they lamented.
We grew up with a myth and we need to debunk it. We’re as weak as paper we need God and frustration will come and it’s okay to lament.
From Jeremiah, David and other bible characters we find that when we lament, we eventually remember Gods mercy. I experienced it. Last Sunday Night I wrote all my grievances said In Jesus name and poured them all then said amen. Through the week God nursed me back to complete faith and hope in him.
The silence is still there but I have hope now. A reason for living. God is working in the silence spaces. Remember Joseph spent years in Jail utter silence, Job in his pain but the master was working the masterplan.
In Conclusion, don’t hide the pain. Also talk to others, my self-sufficient pride made me locked up but thank God I opened to some people and God used them. Don’t conceal it. Don’t put the lamentation and doubt headphones on. Voice out your feelings to God he wants to hear them. Bottling them up will lead you to the pit I fell into – self-reliant pride and depression when you can bear it no longer. Tell him and watch him build your faith.
Nenkinan Nehemiah Deshi
My English should tell you I’m informal today. So today I’m letting ya’ll see the face behind the words. The face behind all the blog posts and poems and etc. I’m very dark if you see me im person (it’s include in my Facebook name) and a tall figure 😎😎.
Anyways let the pictures speak. Memorize the face it’s gonna be famous one day 😂😂😂
You can add me on
Facebook : Nen Black Deshi
Twitter : @nenks95
Instagram : _Deshboss
Pinterest : @nenks95
And you can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Look forward to connecting with you beautiful souls. Don’t worry i follow back surely.
You can also follow my blogs Facebook page “Spoken Voiceless” and Instagram @spokenvoiceless
Happy Sunday and Happy celebrations to my muslim paddy’s Nusrath especially
Feminism is one of those issues and topics that deserves serious thinking and deliberation not the annoying ‘I-know-everything’ attitude Nigerians seem to possess naturally from birth. I am Nigerian, an avid reader and watcher of news and it wasn’t till today that I thought I had enough knowledge backing to stand for or against feminism. I’m not forcing you to acquiesce with me but at least read and try to reason with me.
Firstly, I don’t think its news to anyone reading that Feminism has been abused — a consequence every issue that enters Nigerian space suffers. Feminism according to the dictionary means,
A doctrine that advocates equal rights for women.
Curt and simple. But some extremists make Feminism look like it means a woman can marry a man and control him as long as she’s the bread winner or has the right to equally divide the household duties if they both win the bread. The former is a traditional abomination except by personal decision and the latter a personal decision between man and wife, not a norm.
At this point let me digress to the Bible. God created a man and it was good but then decided after some time that It wasn’t good for the man to be alone (note the bold-italics). So what did he do? He formed the woman from the man. By divine ordination a man is naturally stronger than a woman but God created the woman to be a partner not a slave (note italics again). So the idea women carry that they can get married and do less house chores if they earn money turning their husbands into ‘House-Husbands’ is wrong and is another branch of Extremism — one of the world’s greatest problems right now. The idea that a wife is a slave and subordinate to a man is also a lie and a result of lack of proper orientation as I will soon explain. That out of the way, let me continue.
My thinking on this topic was further spurred by a recent event. It was Girls Brigade Sunday in Church and the service leader made some remarks. She said something like,
“These beautiful girls standing before you…these are future Governors wives, future Presidents wives”
Then later on the girls sang a song their anthem or something like that and the lyrics said something like,
“A woman as a wife,
A woman as a Mother,
A woman as a Vision”
This got me thinking. I had a Eureka moment there listening to those girls ranging from ages 3–20 and the women reciting this. The problem we have in Nigeria and Africa is lack of proper orientation. Why do we teach our girls to be wives and mothers and Governors wives and not achievers?
Allow me to borrow from the bible again. Prov. 22:6 says,
Point your kids in the right direction — when they’re old they won’t be lost (NIV)
Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it (MSG)
This verse goes to say that orientation is key and vital. Unfortunately we have been giving our children in Africa the wrong orientation. What do I mean?
When we teach our girls to be wives and mothers and our sons to be predators and masters we are being extremely wrong!
Like I said from the start, a wife is a partner not a slave. She deserves respect. I am not in any way saying we shouldn’t teach our daughters to be wives and mothers, but we should also teach them to be ambitious and successful. I get excited when I remember that the Deputy Secretary General of the United Nations is a woman and not just any woman a black woman and not just black, a Nigerian. This is proof that our women have substance and deserve education and opportunities equally with men. They deserve every right a male child deserves.
I have been following the ONE Campaign closely and it advocates Female Education but female education is almost useless in a society that already has the norms and values wrong. It is more important to orientate our females well from Primary School level first as Successful Professionals then wives and mothers and then Education can come after that. When we do this, half the problem will be solved. What’s the other half?
Orientating females isn’t the end, we need to orientate the males too. I wish the Boys Brigade too sang a song and told themselves,
“A man as a husband,
A man as a father,
A man as a vision”.
Why do we have so many broken marriages rising in Africa? Because the generation of women who were denied education and were made to believe marriage was their only profession deserving the same protection a man would give his job has passed away and a new generation of women is rising — women who have ambition and won’t let themselves be trampled the way the generation before them did. Our men need to be told from birth that they are future husbands and fathers. Marriage shouldn’t be a compulsory for females and optional for males, both should be taught to give it the same relevance.
Our boys should be taught to be good fathers and husbands. To treat women with respect. When I was 3 almost 4, my mother gave birth and I recall that day, my father looked me straight in the eye and warned me never to lay a finger on my sister. That was the beginning of female respect for me. I took that warning with so much seriousness I once remember a resounding knock my mother gave me for letting my sister disrespect me when I was 8 or so. All boys should be given that orientation.
In conclusion, I hope I have convinced you that orientation is the answer to gender inequality. I’m just a young man with a crazy imagination and a laptop but I believe I’ve done the topic justice. I won’t call myself a feminist, I think I prefer to be Humanist concerned with equal rights for all; male and female, black and white everywhere. Ciao .
Hello people, your blogger is back with yet another odd topic with a strong message. Some things to note before reading:
This post if for young people
Young is any age you want it to be
What is cool? What is not cool? A very hard question to answer, if you ask me.
It’s so unfortunate that we live in a time and age where nobody really asks this important question and so we fall for anything believing its ‘cool’.
The dictionary won’t give us a modern definition of the word cool as relates to things we do but I’ll give it a shot.
In this first 2 decades of the 21st century, we view cool as something to die for; something worth admiration; something worth reckoning with; something we want to emulate; something worth our energy investment.
Now that isn’t bad at all. It isn’t bad looking for things to emulate or be involved in; in fact it’s very good but when we pick useless things like we’ve been doing in recent years, then we begin to do stuff that are uncool in name of being ‘cool’. From the definition, it’s no wonder that celebrities rule the world in our day; they set the standards of cool and we follow them like sheep and do what they’re doing without even questioning if it’s cool or not. I find it very depressing that in this generation, we’ve lost the ability to question the intelligence of things.
Now that I’ve made my point, I would like to take us 100 years back. For those of us in Nigeria, 100 years ago is too far to have records but 80 years ago, let me tell you what cool was. Cool was being actively involved in the fight for independence. Cool was using the intellect you had acquired to play your active role in the aiding of and at the same time bringing down the Colonial Administration. For those in the Western World especially Britain and America, cool was leaving your family and even school to join the army. Cool was getting on mission ships loaded to Africa and come to educate our ancestors. Cool was inventing stuff and being the next revolutionists. If the concept of cool had been lost right from the beginning, there would be no internet, no television, no computer, no telephone, no Bill Gates and Steve Jobs with Microsoft and Apple respectively; all these things we enjoy now wouldn’t have been if the wonderful men and women of the 1980’s to 1999 didn’t know what cool was. In America, if the wonderful men and women of the 1950’s didn’t know what cool was, there would still be racial segregation in America, there would have been no Martin Luther King Jr. or Malcom X or Rosa Parks or Maya Angelou; these people although Americans are the reasons Blacks have voices today world-wide.
We live in a bad generation; technology has become so advanced that we have become complacent with the way things are. We no longer live with a war-time mind-set even though there are flames all around us, we live with a peace time mind set which is ironical. Technology has made us so satisfied we no longer think of how we can help, but we want to live in the moment till the chaos around envelopes us.
Cool is not being okay with the way things are and developing new and better things. Cool is not lying to ourselves that everything has been invented but finding new things or improving on those already invented.
Cool was MLK. Martin Luther King Jr. lived for only 39 years but by the time he died, he had a PH.D, a Nobel Prize and he played the key role in ending most of racial segregation in the America. America has had 44 Presidents of which more than half are dead but MLK not even a white talk more of a President has a public holiday every year celebrated in honour not just in America where it is celebrated officially, but unofficially in every other black nation.
Cool was Nelson Mandela choosing to spend 27 years in Prison, Kwame Nkrumah of Ghana some years also, just to see their countries freedom.
Cool is Malala Yousofzai who won a Nobel Prize at just age 17. Cool is Nigerian Zuriel Oduwole who is currently travelling around the world as a public speaker. Cool is a young lady i follow on social media; Wadi Ben-Hirki who has a foundation and is fighting for various issues including female education. I follow a twitter page called Trends of Nigeria they advertise cool stuff from artists making various expert works from all types of materials to recently the video of a student here in Nigeria who made a drone and it actually flew and landed! Cool is Chimamanda Ngozi Adichiee and many other Nigerian writers who currently travels around speaking out on world issues.
But you and I reading this, what have we done? What have we done that is cool? Those of you reading this in your 40’s, 50’s and 60’s, what have you done that is cool? Those of you who are still young and agile, what do you plan to do that is cool instead of the nonsense of the 21st Century? What mark have you made on humanity? There are plenty problems in Nigeria alone to solve but what are we doing? Do you know the uneducated majority will be our problems in the future?
There are some things I challenge seriously and wonder where we dropped our brains. I heard of this new clothing line by Kanye West – What do they do? They make clothes with rips everywhere and yet we spend 10’s of Dollars we could use for a better cause to purchase them. Excuse me, if you wear clothes torn everywhere what different are you from the poor almajiri boys and mad people we see in the market? Or even worst, what different are we from our 20th Century ancestors who we regard as the uncivilized ones? Let me answer. The only difference between you and those almajiri boys is that while their clothes tore due to use, you bought torn clothes making you even madder!
I don’t listen to Nigerian music and it’s for a reason. Music is harmonic pleasing sound – Good music is music that teaches a message but the music in the Nigerian mainstream is something else. What’s cool about a song that has barely 6 lines of lyrics and no message with raucous videos displaying voluptuous content? No wonder the rate of immorality increase by the day! I don’t blame the artists though, it isn’t their fault. Anytime a new artist, a nobody with no connections tries to make a song with perfect sense and wonderful lyrics, they don’t sell; why? Because we don’t question our intelligence and automatically write them off. I have very few artists I respect in Nigeria people like Timi Dakolo, Waje, which kind because they know what it means to preach a message with your songs. From Dakolo’s totally sensible Love songs for his wife to Wajes new inspirational track Mountain that’s music and they’re doing something cool!
There’s gang violence everywhere in Chicago and artists like Lecrae and Derek Minor make music for this gang kids, to keep them out. That’s cool!
We watch movies every day and while some just keep with the so called ‘cool’ trends, others inspire us and leave us fuelled. That’s cool!
Black people are naturally talented people. All around the world black people are doing and have been doing revolutionary stuff but what are we doing? Why are we lying around mediocre when we were created to be meteoric?
I could ramble on and on about this topic but ill end here. I want you to think today. What could you possibly do that would leave a mark on humanity? What could you possibly do to create a change? What could you do that is cool?
Thank you for reading fam, i’ll see ya’ll next month!
Perfectionism is a myth
We’re all weak we’re all bleak
We’re like muppets on a stage depending on ropes for action and God holds the ropes
Too often we try to take center stage alone and fall down face down
We all need emotional support now and then
When we debunk the myth and accept that we’re all weak and meek and venerable,
we tap into the strength of the King and reign as Princes and Princesses.
Ladies and gentlemen introducing once again the wonderful, the extraordinary, the phenomenal, the narcissist, your favorite blogger… Wait for it… Wait for it… Deshboss!
So hello FAM, once again I’m back. It’s been a month of thinking, of reflection and of observation, and this week my topic relates to time. I titled it ‘timeline’ for fancy (well, I needed a title and I couldn’t just use time (😎😎).
If you can remember, I wrote a post some months back about freedom, to find that click here. But I recall making a point that freedom was a thing of the mind, and sometimes we put ourselves in physical cages. I specifically stated the cage of competition; my topic relates to this competition.
How does time relate to competition?
Often, we unfortunately find ourselves competing with people through life.
Some, from birth till date, we compare ourselves to others and painfully, most times this competition is one sided. I read a historic article about a Nigerian military head who was technically twins with another soldier due to how they grew together through life, one day he got a rumor the other soldier would commit a coup d’état against him, he immediately ordered his killing. Why? Competition? Now why do we compete with others? A misconception of time.
We all live in a world where over time and years, a sequence and time frame has been dictated.
What do I mean? We live in a world that already gives us a blue print for life;
At 2 – Go to nursery school.
At 10/11 – Go to secondary school.
At 17/18 – Graduate from Secondary School and go to the University/College.
At 21/22 – Graduate from University.
At 25 – Be self-made and settled; for ladies be married.
At 27-29 – Be married for men.
On and on, the world system has dictated a time-line for us.
It’s so painful that when something doesn’t happen according to this ‘time-line’ in our lives, we get depressed and worried and feel we don’t deserve to exist.
I’ve seen it over and over again and personally felt it – that my life is too slow and not following sequence but we forget one fact;
That above this ‘time-line’ lives a master of time who controls everything.
Not to get spiritual, but come on, we all know even when we deny it that there’s someone who controls everything somewhere. Even when we claim we control our lives, sometimes after setting everything in place including extra, we see our plans fail in front of our eyes with no practical explanation.
Back to my topic, the point I’m driving at is that there is no time-line. Yes, there’s that common cliché we see happening to 2 or more people but there’s no standard, life is different for everyone. If our lives followed the same sequences I’m sorry to say but the world would be boring. There would be no rich or poor, no employer or employee, since we’d all move together. This imbalances are what makes the world better. Let me step it down with my crazy illustrations.
For those of you in Nigeria, imagine you attended Secondary School with someone and graduated the same day. A month later by virtue of his/her parents financial status this person progressed to a Private University while you waited almost a year later or even more (due to Nigeria’s crazy complex systems). 4 years later that friend graduates while you still have 2 years of schooling. After graduating, your friend spends 3 years without employment while you get employed immediately you leave school. Now you’re one step ahead. The friend that got a job 1 year behind you now buys a car in 3 years and you who has been working longer doesn’t have a car. Then you get married before the friend, then the friend has a child before you…on and on.
Now the temptation is to treat life as a race and compete with this friend ignoring the fact that none of the problems were anticipated when you were still in your Secondary School Senior year. What happened?
Life simply showed you that there was no sequence to it. It propounded the theorem that everyone needs their own time and speed to run their own distance. Yesterday a number of my Secondary School Mates officially started their journey in the university while another number finished their first year 2 weeks ago. Does that mean those other people are permanently ahead of those who just started university yesterday? Definitely not, as life progresses and God exercises control, it won’t be like that.
Have you ever asked yourself why people older than you with almost 10 years work under you? Did they commit any sin? No! Life happened and God exercised control.
At times another factor that affects our movement is that of age. We forget so easily that
‘Age is a number, maturity is a choice’
When people ask me what the right age for something is, I ask, are you mature enough? Marriages have broken down because a 35 year old man or woman was immature and not ready for marriage. That’s sad and it sounds impossible but some people never really mature. So what’s my remedy? As you grow make sure you mature, don’t be a child throughout. Grow! How do you grow? Like I always propound, observe and see. Look at the pit falls of others and swerve to avoid them. Treat yourself like an adult then act like one. Like they say, ‘whatever you can conceive you can achieve’ or ‘as you think of yourself, so you are’.
Another factor that affects us psychologically is having ‘mates’ at the back of our minds. A wise person once said
‘In life there are no mates. Only in school’
The sooner you realize that life isn’t a race, and you’ll get there when you’re meant to be, the happier and more content you will be. I weep to see people jump into dysfunctional marriages because they wanted to beat time and not to ‘grow too old’ or young men engage in dubious money making schemes because ‘they’re meant to be rich by now’. All these things are fallacies created by our world. At times being patient is Gods time of preparing you for something much bigger and greater that might catapult you ahead of that so-called ‘successful mate’ of yours
I know this post sounds rough but in summary what I’m saying is;
1. Don’t spend your life competing with someone else. Our lives are different and can’t travel the same path at the same speed.
2. Don’t get depressed and beat yourself down when your ‘mates’ are ahead of you.
3. Age is a number, maturity is a choice.
Thank you for reading fam really appreciate till next time